The boyfriend and I were watching "'Til Debt Do Us Part" tonight (I forced him) and he suddenly asked me if I wish he had just paid off all my debt for me.
And I honestly said no.
Don't get me wrong - I would have been relieved. I would have been grateful. I would have been ecstatic.
And I wouldn't have learned a single thing.
I fear that if that had happened, I may have continued living my life without a true sense of the cost. Maybe I would have expected him to pony up the money for a vacation, a house, and anything else I wanted. And maybe he would have resented me. Felt used.
This is a difficult lesson, but something that has changed me for the better.
Turns out we're both glad that he didn't just pay it all off. But I am forever grateful for the loan he gave me to kick start my efforts. It was enough that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and that made all the difference.
On a different note - someone asked me for budgeting advice today! I was absolutely tickled pink.
Total debt: $8715 (Soon to be a whole lot lower...)
Spent today: $0 (Thanks to that very generous Starbucks card, which saw me through a stressful afternoon at work!)
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Wow - now that is an epiphany/lesson worth it's weight in gold!
I definitely hear you. When I hear about people whose parents give them the down payment for the house or the new car or all the tuition money or who continue to live at home well past the expiration date, I sometimes get a bit envious and wish that my situation was different. But then I wouldn't have learned the self-reliance that I have now or the sense of pride.
I remember years ago having an argument with an 18 year old (I was 24 at the time) who had absolutely no drive or desire to move out of the familial home since Mom had promised she could stay as long as she wanted. She saw nothing wrong with staying well into her 40s and beyond and that her mother would always 'take care of things'. In frustration I told her that one day her mother would die and what would she do then. She was in such denial that she would not even acknowledge that as a possibility. As someone who had lived on her own since she was 19 and largely paid her own way for everything (including 3 degrees and rent to my mother!)I was so frustrated with her...
But then I felt sorry for her since she was going to have the face reality at some point and it was going to be so very, very hard for her since she had no independence.
Now, if only I could win the lotto. But wait, that won't happen since I don't play - I prefer to put that money into savings so that I can truly bank on my return ;-)
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