Monday, April 20, 2009

The old man is snoring

I am so glad that I spent a ton of time outside on Saturday, soaking up the spring sunshine as I traversed from one end of this city to the other. I even got my share of vitamin D on Sunday, walking to meet good friends for brunch and then searching for a pair of cute, cushy sneakers for our trip this weekend. (Still looking...) Because if I hadn't enjoyed the sunshine while it was here, I would have been even grumpier about the cold, rainy, windy day today. I know, it's good for the grass blah blah blah. But I do not own a pair of waterproof shoes, so inevitably I end up with soggy feet and that musty smell that accompanies them.

Apparently I'm still grumpy. Did I mention that I also had a dentist's appointment this afternoon? Plus, the bottle of wine that the DP and I opened to go with dinner is kind of skunky.

GRUMPY!

Maybe I'm just anxious for Friday to come... (And for the NYC forecast to take a turn for the better.)

Friday, April 17, 2009

If at first you don't succeed...

Well, I'm happy to report that I've been successful with the first of the CANs that I set for myself this week - I haven't set foot in a single coffee shop. So far, so good. The second one is proving to be much more difficult. By mid-morning the day after setting the goal for myself, I'd scarfed down some Easter chocolate at my desk with my (free) cup of tea.

And then I remembered my vow.

And the week sort of progressed in a similar fashion. The worse part was that one day I gave in to my solo cookie craving and gobbled up a couple of contraband biscuits all by my lonesome...and then a colleague brought (better) cookies into the office for everyone to share. But I felt obligated to decline, since I'd already indulged. If only I'd reminded myself of what I CAN do and resisted my initial craving, I'd have graciously accepted and enjoyed alongside everyone else.

Sigh. Why do I have to learn so many lessons over and over again?

Also, I spend a lot of time lately meditating on the idea that we have to do things differently if we want things to change. Yet humans seem to find so much comfort in familiarity and routine (myself included) that it can feel almost impossible to find the energy to break out of a habit.

Currently I'm in that strange limbo of life that precedes a vacation. Meaning that it's easy to bundle up everything I think I should be doing and file them all under the heading: Things to do after I go to New York. That list includes, but is not limited to, getting my gym schedule back on track, being more mindful of what I'm eating, pitching some more freelance stories, washing and ironing my spring/summer clothes, and cleaning the bathroom (but this one really can't wait much longer). What's weirder is that this limbo is coupled with a somewhat urgent belief that everything needs to be perfectly in its place before I can leave my everyday life behind for four days.

Basically, I might be crazy.

But at least I will be in NYC this time next week!

Here's some internet stuff for you guys to look at. Check out these amazing photos. So clever. (Oh, and click on the photographers name for a little chuckle.) Learn a little more about rhubarb care of Homemakers and yours truly. And here's a little profile of me done by my alma mater.

Monday, April 13, 2009

I think I CAN, I think I CAN

As far as weekends go, I can think of few that are better than long weekends involving a chocolate-eating holiday. Particularly when those three days get you that much closer to a mini-break in New York City. So I thoroughly enjoyed myself this Easter weekend, although my "Easter keister" (as the DP and I are referring to it) is a wee bit bigger than it was last Thursday... This has prompted me to think of a couple of new "cans" for me to tackle.

You see, I am all about habits. And my habit of late has been to frequent a couple of popular coffee shop-type places. It started with Roll Up the Rim. I'm not much of a gambler, but I do enjoy the occasional wager and that's what RUTR seems to be. You shell out $1.45 for a cup of tea and the chance to win $10,000! Or a flat-screen TV! Or a doughnut!! Needless to say, I got sucked in and won a few extra cups of tea in the process. This despite the fact that we have FREE Tazo tea here at work. Why is it a treat if we buy it somewhere else?

Anyway, RUTR led me down the rabbit hole to the evil empire of Starbucks. This was not only for the tea, which is the exact same stuff I can have for free at work, but also for the treats. One treat became another, which became a third and...well...you get the picture. A habit was formed.

But my Easter keister and my wallet both suffer from these habits. So here's my two new CANs:

I CAN stay out of the coffee shops during workdays. (Unless, of course, I'm meeting someone for a post-work cup of tea.)
*and*
I CAN refrain from indulging in treats unless I am enjoying them with someone else.

This one is something I've just thought of. I'm hoping it will help with my habit of secretly consuming baked goods in a guilty manner when no one is looking. Because I'd rather save those indulgences for moments of celebration or mutual enjoyment rather than just scarf them down all alone.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Sluggity slug slug

I don't want to brag, but I have a pretty kick-ass immune system. (Obviously I will be struck down with the plague or something of that nature now that I've gone public with my immunity.) I think it's because I get 8 hours of sleep the vast majority of the time, plus I eat my fruits and veggies. It could also be good genes. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) So it's not too weird that I made it through the whole winter without a cold. I had the beginnings of one at one point, but nipped it in the bud by doing some saltwater sinus flushes.

All this to say that I was caught off-guard last week when I got seriously sick for about 12 hours. Not cold virus sick, but stomach bug sick. Truly not fun. For a few hours I thought it was Norwalk, which the DP and I suffered through during Christmas 2005, but then I had a long nap and things took a turn for the better, so I thanked my lucky stars and had a piece of dry toast.

Anyway, the brief dalliance with illness threw my whole schedule out of whack. And, if you didn't know this about me, Tammy + Schedule = BFF.

The day after the sickness I was wiped out, which was probably dehydration. And I didn't manage to catch up on my rest before my crazy busy weekend of multiple birthday parties and a wedding. My fatigue kept me from working out, which is such a vicious cycle! Even when I logically know that a workout would both generate energy and help me sleep better, sometimes I'm just too damn tired to go. So I was sleeping badly and dragging my exhausted self around this week. Basically, my schedule went out the window and I've been floundering ever since. Hence, blogging got tossed out with the bathwater.

Now I'm running alongside the wagon and desperately trying to hop back on. Except the wagon will NOT slow down. Seriously, this long weekend could not have come any sooner.

In moments like this, when I'm trying to get my shit back together, I start to think about how I would like my life to look. And how I could change it to make it closer to that image. We really have quite a lot of power over how we live our lives, when you stand back to look at it. (This is one of the main reasons I do not perform anymore. Too much of that power was in other people's hands.) So that's what I'm going to think about this weekend.

I made it to the gym tonight. I feel sooooo much better.

Do you guys thrive when your time is scheduled or do you like to be footloose and fancy free?
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