Paycheck parade

This afternoon, as I hurried back to work from my little sojourn to the gym, I passed this guy who spends his days standing on Yonge street holding a sign and passing out flyers. If you work in the downtown core, you've probably seen him. I have no idea what his flyers say, because my standard response is just to smile at him and say "No, thank you," as I pass by. Well, today as I passed and politely declined, his response was a little giggle. He giggled at me. At least, I'm assuming he was giggling at me.

That giggle meant that rather than just passing through my consciousness, he actually stuck around in my head for awhile. And I started to think that his job must be pretty boring. And that lead me to think about some of the boring and ridiculous jobs I've had in my life. And that made me think that I should share those tales with you.

(Just trying to share my thought process with you. Maybe you don't need it.)

Some of the ridiculous ways that I have earned money by Tammy Sutherland

Handing out chocolate samples: During my performing days, I occasionally worked for a company that employed pretty people to be hired out for various marketing and promotional events. (I think I ranked fairly low on the "pretty" scale, so I only worked a few gigs.) One job involved standing around a department store with a basket of chocolates, handing out samples to the shoppers. Sounds like a pretty sweet (pun totally intended) job, eh? It was TORTURE for me. Four hour shifts standing in one place that felt like they dragged on eternally. People always assumed I was selling something, so would hardly come near me the entire time. And I couldn't EAT the chocolate! Brutal.

Secret shopper: This was a make-money scheme that required far more time than I ever thought it would. I only took one assignment and it was a sport's store in a far corner of the city. If I'd owned a car it would have been easy to reach, but the TTC took me on a tour of the entire neighbourhood. I had to buy something and then return it, which I was forced to do on the same day, since I couldn't imagine making the trek more than once. So after the initial purchased I huddled in the parking lot for awhile, trying to take notes, and then turned around and made up an excuse about why I didn't want it anymore. I believe my brilliant subterfuge was some nonsense about finding out that my boyfriend had already bought one. Awkward to say the least.

Standardized patient: This is something that many actors do to earn rent while they're "making art." (Also known as performing in cutting-edge productions for nothing but the admiration of the director and the four audience members - all family - that show up.) You generally have to memorize a list of symptoms and are then examined by future doctors, who try to diagnose you correctly. I spent a couple of days being a chiropractic patient. (Thankfully no one was adjusting anyone. That could have been painful!) The work wasn't awful, just long and monotonous, but what I remember is that we couldn't leave the hospital, so they brought breakfast and lunch in for us. It was all Tim Hortons all the time. That SEEMS like a dream in my world, but it was the most intense carbo-loading ever. Our only choices were bagels, donuts, muffins... No soup. No chili. No sandwiches. The only protein were tiny packets of cream cheese. I could barely drag myself home at the end of each day.

Selling strawberries at the side of the road: This was a very early job. I was maybe 13? Anyway, I was dropped off all alone at the side of the road with buckets of strawberries to sell. (Seems kind of dangerous now that I think about it!) I didn't mind it too much, since I just hung out reading the majority of the time, but the guy that had hired me kept stopping by and he seemed to think I should be standing up and attempting to attract more buyers rather than enjoying my book. I figured that the big sign that said "Strawberries for Sale" was doing that for me. I only lasted one day.

And the winner for the most ridiculous job...

Hawking weight loss bars while singing and doing a striptease at Union Station: This was the job that broke my will to continue life as a performer. It was the very first week in January 2002 and I was paid an enormous amount of money to stand on a big chest in the middle of Union Station during morning and afternoon rush hours, repeatedly singing a re-written version of "Auld Lang Syne" that included the line, "I couldn't wear my bathing suit because of my rubbing thighs," at the top of my lungs WHILE removing the 5 extra layers of clothing that I was wearing over a branded t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I was humiliated beyond all belief. I realized that my pride did come with a price tag and I was severely underselling myself.

Those are just some of the highlights, but there are more. Sometimes I feel like I've done a little bit of everything! Although I've never waited tables, which is so strange. Especially because I think I'd be really good at it! Ah well. I probably would have made a fortune in tips and spent all that as well!

Stopped at the mall on my way home tonight under the guise of getting birthday cards for all the upcoming family fetes. Only not so much. I came home with zero birthday cards and major want.

I easily saw at least half-a-dozen things I could have bought. Including TWO gorgeous summer dresses. (I LOVE a summer dress. I also have four of them in my closet already, so do I REALLY need two more!?)

No money was spilled, though. Since I spend so much time looking at my financial situation every day, I find it's impossible to be ignorant about it. Even if I had just spent $40, I would know that I still have those birthday cards to buy, plus a present for my nephew that will also need to go in the mail. Plus I have to pay a "withdrawal" fee of almost $50 to ACTRA and I have booked a haircut for next weekend, because 4 months is too long between haircuts. So something has to give. And for now, it's new clothes.

But I'm going to have to get something eventually. Maybe when the total debt number is under $8000, which shouldn't be too far away...

Total debt: $9260 and a bit (Almost to the $8000s!)
Spent today: $0