Money in the mail

Many years ago, when I was still "earning a living" as a professional performer, I used to do extra work on movies, TV shows and commercials. Since I was a union member, I could make a decent amount of money in one day just for sitting around drinking tepid tea out of Styrofoam cups for 14 hours and then walking down a street a few times in the rain at 1:30 a.m. for an exterior establishment shot. Seriously. Generally the work was deadly boring, but the paychecks were nice.

(I refuse to do the math about what I make now in comparison to then. It would be too painful.)

Some highlights of that life included meeting William H. Macy on set (Very Nice Man!); watching Liev Shreiber play the guitar just off camera while Jeff Goldblum got down and did push ups just before they yelled action, so he would seem out of breath; and eating many a delicious buffet meal. (On set catering is generally very good.)

One of many low points: Having to be the stand-in on a sex scene where the male stand-in (who was lying on top of me at the time) tried to chat me up. Ew. Gross. No thanks.

Anyway, one hot summer night in 1999 I got called to do an overnight shoot on some U.S. TV movie called "Chippendale Murders." I can't say I was looking forward to it. There were 200 extras on set. I can't remember exactly how the rules work, but I believe only the first 10 or so extras have to be union, everyone else can be non-union. Non-union extras work for $8 an hour and don't get overtime. (At least back when I was doing it.) They were universally known to be a bit crazy, so I was dreading being stuck with so many of them all night.

However, about an hour into the evening, they put out a call that the director needed to see all the non-union girls. Turns out they needed to cast a "best friend" for the female lead in the movie.

*Oh, I forgot to mention that the movie was set in the 80s, so at this point I've been costumed in electric blue Hammer pants, red flats (before flats were cool) and a big belt. The makeup women had teased up my hair and applied some blue eye shadow. I was feeling pretty hot!

So I joked with the director - how could he not pick me! Look at my Hammer pants!!

He totally picked me.

My night changed entirely. I was suddenly whisked off to Honeyland! (That's where all the main trailers are. Much better than any extra holdings.) My hair and makeup was redone by the main hair and makeup people. I was shuttled around with the "actors" and got to eat from the Kraft truck rather than compete with 200 others for a couple of slices of white bread and peanut butter. It was a very exciting night.

My scene involved walking into a strip club with the film's leading lady, stopping at the door to make eyes at the half-dressed man, and then continuing on my way. I didn't even get to say a line, but I did get upgraded to "actor," which is a big step up from extra, let me tell you.

During the first couple of takes I was really nervous. All of the extras were on set, plus the crew, so my audience was extensive. The camera was behind us. All went well.

Next, they reversed the shot, meaning that the camera came around in front of us. I was calling upon all my years of theatre training to do a good job, chanting "be in the moment, be in the moment, be in the moment," to myself. I concentrated so hard that I walked right into the camera. In front of about 250 people. Generally there's only one person on set that's allowed to say "cut," and that's the director. When I heard the cameraman say it, I knew I had really screwed up.

I earned a nice paycheck that evening, which included a 5 year buyout, meaning that they could air the movie as much as they wanted for 5 years before they'd have to pay me anything else. Today I came home to a cheque. I am still earning money off of that one evening. Unbelievable. I've never even seen the movie, so I don't know that I even made the final cut!

It's not a big cheque, so I hardly get to do a happy dance, but considering that it's basically free money at this point, I'm not going to complain. I'm going to put some of it aside for taxes (income is income) and then I'm going to put the rest on my credit card, to help pay off my trip to the dentist last week.

If only I'd done more gigs like this one...

Total debt: $6600 and a bit
Spent today: $18.95 (Some food, plus I rescued my favourite dress from the dry cleaner in a timely manner to avoid his wrath.)