After more than three years of being a "Big Sister," I saw my "Little Sister" for the last time today. There are several reasons why I chose to end the match, but I don't think this is the place to talk about them. Instead I will tell you how our last afternoon together led me to believe that doing things the real, old-fashioned way is just a whole lot better.
Today we made cupcakes. But rather than buy a box of cake mix and a tub of icing, I pulled a cookbook off my shelf this morning and picked out an actual recipe. Double fudge cupcakes. I rifled through my pantry, taking stock of what I had, and then made a shopping list. When we got to the grocery store, my "Little" was in charge of the list.
She is a sweet, shy 12-year-old, who has always struggled with reading. Over the years I tried actually reading with her, using comic books to entice her. In general it proved to be a pretty trying event for both of us. She would fidget and stall, giving up quickly whenever she came to a word she didn't know. In the beginning I would cave all too easily, believing I could teach her something just by telling her the words. Truthfully though, I just didn't have the patience to wait for her to figure things out for herself.
Slowly I found ways to sneak reading into our visits, either by playing Hangman on the subway or bringing her articles about Hilary Duff - one of her favourites. And by baking with her. The rule was that she had to read the recipe if she wanted to make something. And that never seemed to be a problem.
At some point in our baking adventures, I realized that she was doing all the reading and I was doing all the baking. So I tried to relinquish a little control and handed over some of the jobs to her. I still remember how timid she was when she cracked her first egg, terrified of doing it wrong. With my reassurance, she gained a little confidence. And I gained a little more patience.
This afternoon it was almost entirely her show. I supervised from the sidelines as she read each step in the recipe out loud, found the right measuring cups, found the right ingredients and made cupcakes and icing from scratch. (Okay, I may have chopped and melted some chocolate, but only because I wanted to return her to her mom in one piece.) She creamed butter and sugar, she sifted cocoa, and she broke three eggs like a pro. Not to mention the fact that she only struggled with a handful of words in the recipe.
And the cupcakes are delicious!
A mix would have been less expensive - I probably could have bought the mix and the icing for the amount I paid for just the butter - and it would have been faster. But the extra money that I spent on fresh ingredients and the three and half hours it took was what I needed to realize that the 9-year-old girl that I first met has become a smart, competent, confident young woman who has taught me the value of letting someone else steal the show. I only hope I managed to teach her half as much.
A few extra items on my grocery list, plus $5 to supplement a taxi coupon that I had (The weather was bad!), and a 99 cent song purchase on iTunes. That's where my money went today.
Total debt: $11,000 and change
Spent today: $34.50-ish
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1 comment:
I remember when you started your big sister time. Very cool that you did for three years & that you both gained so much from it. Proud of ya, T.
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