10 Months

Planning ahead

During our outing to the Riverdale Art Walk this past weekend, I couldn't resist buying a couple of gorgeous little dresses for Viv. Normally I find the prices from independent vendors a little too steep for our budget, but these ones were both on sale for less than half-price!



They're not going to fit her for quite awhile, but she's going to be damn cute (and chic!) when they do!

36 random things about me at 36

Happy birthday to me!



1. I’ve learned all the words to 6418* songs.

2. I’ve come to terms with the fact that long hair does not suit me. But it can't be too short, either.

3. I fulfilled my dream of being paid to sing onstage.

4. I had the good sense to realize that being paid to sing onstage was no longer my dream.

5. I fulfilled my dream of working on a fashion magazine.

6. I had the good sense to realize that I didn’t enjoy trying to keep up with the fashion magazine crowd. (Rarely wore the latest trend/had nice nails/liked after-hours events. The swag, however, was pretty awesome.)

7. I realized there are other magazines out there.

8. I recognize the value of weight training and actually quite enjoy it.

9. I’ve given up on finding high heels that don’t make me want to cut off my own feet after 30 minutes. (Not that I’ll never wear them! Just that I’ll likely complain to the Husband about them the entire time.)

10. I can own the fact that pineapple is my favourite pizza topping.

11. I’m totally proud to have a song on iTunes.

12. I’ve accepted that a well-fitting bra costs (a lot) more than $19.99 and can make more of a difference than a ten-pound weight loss. Also that I need a professional to help me find it.

13. I’m never going to be a great housekeeper or a handy person. That’s okay. I’ve got other things to do, anyway. (I can, however, tidy and organize like a mofo!)

14. I love the following feelings: putting warm boots on after skating or skiing, drinking cold water after having a mint, being enveloped in a hug by the Husband, and putting my cheek on Vivi’s warm head.

15. My biggest challenge in life is inertia. Momentum is my friend.

16. I love to cook and bake, but I need the roadmap of a recipe. Although I'm getting better at taking some detours.

17. I do best with schedules and routines. Sometimes I really suck at going with the flow. Obviously this is a bigger problem now that there is a child in the mix.

18. I would rather be up early than stay up late.

19. My chocolate chip cookies are the best.

20. I keep thinking I should make a bucket list and then cultivate a plan to cross some items off of it. (See #15.)

21. I used to force myself to finish every book I started and read every magazine from cover to cover. I’m over that now.

22. I am too easily swayed by other people’s opinions. Always have been. Still working on that.

23. I miss blogging regularly.

24. If there were parallel universes, I would also pursue the following careers: photographer, shop owner (stationary store/bakery), broadcast journalist, television producer, bon vivant.

25. I’d like to stop caring so much about the unchangeable “unattractive” (according to the media) parts of my body, such as having short, wide nail beds and translucent skin that shows every little vein and pore. How do I do that?

26. I love, love, love buying art. And since discovering Etsy and the million other awesome websites that sell original art, I can’t imagine ever purchasing art from a chain store again.

27. I’m currently suffering from my first true health issue that gets in the way of doing everything I want to do. It’s stupid foot pain that may or may not be plantar faciitis. Physio is helping, but I still limp first thing in the morning, wear ugly Crocs around the house, suffer after long walks and cannot even conceive of going for a run. This is a good reminder that I better take care of this body or things could go downhill very quickly.

28. Vivi inspires me to sing every day, multiple times, which I hadn’t done for many years. Feels good.

29. Every time we buy a lottery ticket, I really, truly think we’re going to win.

30. I have a couple famous-ish friends and plenty of famous-ish acquaintances. I have no shame about namedropping.

31. I don’t have the vision to turn other people’s garbage into my treasures. I wish I did.

32. Shopping for pants is incredibly hard on my self-esteem.

33. I’ve cultivated friendships that keep me happy, challenged and, most importantly, sane.

34. I found one of the good guys and tricked him into marrying me, buying a house with me and bringing me flowers now and then.

35. I gave birth to a cute kid. I hope she always likes me as much as I like her.

36. So far, every year has been better than the last. Bring on the next 36!

*This number could be a little high or could be grossly underestimated. I’ve never kept hard data, but turn on a car radio and I can probably sing along.

Pour less sugar on me

Um, hi.

Yes. I went missing there for a while. And yes, I totally fell off the wagon. I tried to run alongside it for awhile, with every intention of hopping back on as soon as possible. But I stopped for a minute. Probably to buy a cookie. And it took off without me.

As most of you know from my slightly bitter Facebook posts, we are in teething hell over here. It feels like it's been going on forever! Her top teeth (or side teeth or back teeth or ALL of her teeth) are giving my poor, sweet girl a really hard time. Which makes everything hard. And while I was soothing her with medication, cuddles and non-stop nursing, I soothed myself with treats.

And I don't know about you guys, but I'm an all-or-nothing kind of a girl. Either I am fully committed to eating well or I am making a beeline for the nearest pastry.

But then the ground shifted a little. (Under me, not Vivi's teeth, unfortunately.)

It started with the adult swim class that I took a few weeks ago. It was nine one-hour lessons spread over two weeks. Yes, I already had the swimming basics down pat, from my childhood lessons, but I've never known how to do very many different strokes or how to put my face in the water. I'd like to swim for fitness, so I figured this would give me the tools and the confidence to do so.

Well, about halfway through the lessons, while still indulging in many a sweet craving, I hopped on the scale and was down a couple of pounds.

Huh!

Then I had a little epiphany out of the blue. Imagine what would happen if I shelved the sweet tooth for a while? I had recently noticed how awful my beloved sugar was making me feel, both physically (headachy, lethargic) and mentally (moody, short-tempered). So what if I cut WAY back?

Well, it's been almost two weeks and I'm happy to report that the scale is currently at 166.5 lb. I've given up my nightly frozen yogurt (which has been my tradition for YEARS) for a smoothie, which is totally satisfying. (Finally bought an immersion blender and am currently having a bit of a love affair with it.) I'm still having treats here and there, rather than several times a day, and I'm not counting for now. Counting points was just one more thing on my currently long list of things to juggle.

Amazingly, I didn't feel any drastic withdrawal feelings and I'm not crazy with cravings at all.

We'll see how far this takes me!

More celebrity mom inspiration:

Aaaaaand... we're back!

Okay, I know that hitting the reset button on a Monday morning is horribly cliché. But clichés exist for a reason. Monday seems like the perfect opportunity for a fresh start!

I made it to the gym this morning after a week off last week. Felt hard, but good.

The gym is having an interesting effect on me. You know how people who lose a lot of weight often say that they still think of themselves as heavy? Well, all the mirrors at the gym are reminding me of the extra weight I'm carrying! We only have a couple of mirrors actually hung in our house at this point (yes, still moving in) and the image of myself that I carry around with me is the pre-pregnancy one. So I am extra motivated to get moving.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 36
Activity earned: 6
Flex points bank: 35

Wee break

Okay, I know I'm only two weeks in and I don't want to lose my momentum, but I'm putting the plan on the back burner. Just for a couple of days. I've got a bit of a perfect storm happening, with a cranky teething child who won't nap, helping my bestie out with childcare for her kids, and, well, woman troubles. If you catch my drift.

I know lots and lots and LOTS of women deal with much more difficult situations than I'm experiencing. They are awesome. I am just tired.

And sometimes fatigue requires a piece of chocolate chip banana bread.

Two weeks down

Okay, no time for a proper post! More soon.

Sunday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 39
Flex points bank: 22

Monday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: ?? (Yes, I got sort of lax.)

Second week weigh-in: 170
DOWN 1.5 lbs

Total loss: 4 lbs!

The boy from Oz

I am in love.



I'm not usually prone to celebrity worship. But after seeing Hugh Jackman's stage show this past week, I might consider becoming a groupie and stalking him full-time. Sure, it'll be awkward with Viv strapped to my back. And the Husband may not particularly like my new found purpose in life. (Although he'll totally understand! In fact, he predicted that I would fall for the Aussie after seeing him live onstage.)

But I can't help myself! He was so spectacular!! I laughed, I cried, I screamed (although not nearly as loud as a few of the women in the audience) and I gained a whole new respect for Wolverine. He sang "Soliloquy" from Carousel. It was absolutely beautiful. He told a few poignant tales from his life, but also poked fun at his Hollywood experiences. It was a really fantastic night out.

Too bad for the Husband that our second date night since Vivi was born ended with me lusting after another man...

Here's how the last few days have played out. It's been busy! (Vivi has screamed more in the last four days than in the past four months.)

Wednesday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 32
Activity points earned: 7
Flex points bank: 34

Thursday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 32
Flex points bank: 34

Friday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 39
Activity points earned: 7
Flex points bank: 34

Saturday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 37
Flex points bank: 29

And one more. Just 'cause.

Welcome to the jungle

Exhausting day! Managed to get the kid to nap for about 45 minutes total in the house and another 30 minutes while I was out walking. (Had a lovely, unexpected visit with a good friend today. Thank goodness for a reality touchstone!) I think she also snoozed a bit in the car on the way to and from my dentist appointment.

While I'm happy for every bit of sleep she gets, on the harder days it's difficult to not resent that she will only sleep in situations that don't allow ME to sleep. This fact is why new moms HATE the "sleep when the baby sleeps" advice. If only it were so easy!!

Currently she's back in her vibrating chair, in the living room. We're hoping it might knock her out and then we can transfer her to her crib. We tried putting it in her room, but that didn't go over well. Separation anxiety?

Anyway, despite the fact that I did not make it to the spinning class I was going to attend, it was a pretty good day.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 33
Flex points bank: 34

More celebrity mom inspiration.


I totally think Reese and I would be friends, given the chance.

One week down!

Sorry! I went awol there for a little bit. It's just that Violet has suddenly decided a) to nurse A LOT, b) that her crib is a place of torture rather than a peaceful retreat, and c) that sleep is for the weak.

Yep. A trying couple of days around here. For about three months she's been happily sleeping in her crib for a few naps a day and from 6pm-ish to 6am-ish, only up once for a feeding and then right back down most nights. Sunday night we couldn't get her to sleep in her crib until 9:30pm. Last night it was 11pm, after an hour long walk, more than an hour of nursing, and lots and lots of screaming. And the only way she would nap yesterday was on my lap, after being nursed to sleep, or in the car.

Sigh.

Did I mention that the mornings after these trying nights she started her day at 5:30am?

Ugh. I am, once again, tired. Like, really tired. We think she's working on some more teeth and/or going through a growth spurt. All I know is that the awesome schedule I was accustomed to, where she would have 45 minute cat naps every two hours with little to no fuss, is gone. Time to figure out what to do now.

By 9am this morning, when she was clearly exhausted but not interested in being in her crib, I pulled out her vibrating chair. We had thought she was long done with it, preferring to wiggle and be free. It worked like a charm... for about a half an hour. I'll take what I can get!

Anyway, here's where we are with this challenge of mine.

Sunday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 36
Flex points bank: 18

Monday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: ?? (Things kind of fell apart at the end of the day. Not that I went crazy at all, just that counting was no longer a priority.)
Activity earned: 2

First week weigh-in: 171.5
DOWN 2.5 lbs!

That's the right direction! And it motivates me not to eat everything in the house today, even though this fatigue wreaks havoc with my willpower.

To market, to market

Lovely summer Saturday!

Firstly, I get to sleep in on Saturdays. After I breastfeed the wee one, the Husband takes over, giving her some solid food and entertaining her until nap time. It's heavenly! I scootch over and sleep in the middle of the bed, spreading out. Ahhhhh!!!

Then we finally made it to Evergreen Toronto Brickworks for their farmer's market. What a fantastic place! Super cool and a GREAT spot for a special event. (We were saying we should get married again and do it there. A summer wedding this time, with white fairy lights strung up everywhere.)

But the real standout: the FOOD! Obviously they had all sorts of fresh, organic produce. (Hello cherries and kale!) Also lots of people selling the kind of yummy, grainy bread that makes grocery store bread look like the sad imitation of food that it is. What we weren't expecting was the all the booths selling incredible prepared meals!

In the end, we indulged in a plate of curried veggie tofu with both beet and quinoa salad, a vegan banana cupcake with maple icing and a small scoop of fresh, organic chocolate ice cream, which rocked my world. I had to do some guessing on the points, but since we split everything, I don't think it was so bad!

Here's how I think the day played out.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 35
Flex points bank: 22

And here are a few shots.





All the excitement tired our little Vivi out:

Reunion!

Busy day yesterday kept me from blogging! I got to see one of my lovely cousins, who was visiting the city with her gorgeous little family in tow. It had been 15 or 16 years since we last saw one another, besides Facebook, and it was like no time had passed at all. Her two daughters are gorgeous and sweet, and her husband felt like family. Good times!

Here's the stats.

Thursday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 33
Flex points bank: 31

Friday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 41 (oops!)
Activity earned: 3
Flex points bank: 25

Best laid plans...

I had high hopes for today. A morning trip to the gym for a weights class followed by a Stars and Strollers showing of "Bad Teacher." While I was bustling around, getting ready, I checked my email and saw that something I'd ordered was on the truck for delivery.

So I decided to skip the gym. Surely it would arrive before noon, so we could hit the movies.

And then we skipped the movie.

It's 2:35pm now. We're still waiting. Waiting to go OUTSIDE! There are some errands that we can run still, if it gets here soon.

Meanwhile, since I've been hesitant to start anything requiring a lot of time, in case Purolator arrives and we can get the hell out of here, we had a little photo shoot:

Gettin' my move on

My one regret about my pregnancy is that I stopped exercising.

Initially I was quite determined not to let this happen. I had lots of good intentions and even subscribed to "Fit Pregnancy" magazine. (My name is Tammy and I am a magazine addict.) Then a combination of factors got in the way. In the early days, while I was still feeling good, an insane work schedule kept me from my lunchtime workouts. Then the fatigue/nausea/hunger set in and I couldn't figure out when to go to the gym when I wasn't a) exhausted, b) feeling disgusting, or c) ravenous or full of recently consumed food. Then I just got bigger and slower and, let's face it, the habit of going to the gym had long left me.

Cue signs of a not-so-active pregnancy, including carpal tunnel that caused me to wear splints at night, back pain requiring a big belly support girdle-thing and just a whole lot of trouble getting around. (I remember needing to get groceries, but not fathoming how I was going to get to the far end of the grocery store for eggs and back again. Not a fun time!)

Thankfully the inactivity didn't hinder delivery, which was altogether easy compared to most stories I've heard.

Then there was a wee baby to take care of and the dead of winter to contend with. December is actually a pretty good time to have a baby, as long as you don't get cabin-fever too badly. By spring I was ready for long walks. Except something wasn't right...

Cue plantar fasciitis. (Nope, not the wart thing. The heel thing.)

Apparently this annoying issue can be a very normal thing caused by pregnancy weight gain (also cute, flat, non-supportive shoes, which is all I wore for the last few months), but I can't help but think I might have avoided it if I hadn't gained so much.

I've been walking for months, despite the intense pain after even a half hour of leisurely hoofing. Also wearing supportive shoes during all my waking hours. (One of the Husband's colleagues said Crocs were good for this, so at home I sport bright blue plastic shoes I wouldn't be caught dead in outside. Cute for kids and fine for gardening, but not exactly the style statement I'm going for. They do, however, make my feet feel good.)

A couple of months ago, I was desperate to incorporate some more activity, so I went out for some walk/run intervals to get back in the swing of things. Only a half hour and nothing insane. Well, when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night, I couldn't put any weight on my bad foot.

So running was out.

All this to say that I started back at the gym last week. They have child-minding, which Vivi seems to quite enjoy so far. (She's an observer, watching what all the other kids are doing.) And I've learned that spinning* doesn't hurt the foot. Weights are good, too! And working out is helping make me feel like myself again. Finally!

Points target: 32
Daily total: 35
Flex points bank: 32

*Could barely keep my legs moving through yesterday's spin class, despite the inspiration of all the very toned bodies around me. Oh, and the pregnant woman in front of me whose due date is TODAY!

So far, so good

First weigh-in bright and early this morning. (Vivi is a 6pm to 6am girl, with usually one nighttime waking these days, so no sleeping in for Mommy!)

My current weight is: 174 lbs

That's about 25 lbs more than I weighed when I got pregnant and about 35 lbs more than I'd like to weigh. But this isn't all about the numbers! First tangible goal is to get my wedding rings on once more. I can put each of them on separately, although not comfortably, but I can't seem to squish them on together.

Also, just to fill you all in, I am following WW, but not the latest and greatest version of it. (Free fruit! Sounds amazing!!) The only reason I'm hanging out in the Flex Points system is because I have all the stuff, including those little sliding scales that figure out how many points something is worth and some of the old info books.

I am still breastfeeding, so that gets me a bunch more points. (Yay!) And I am back at the gym (more on that soon), so I'll be earning-and most likely eating-activity points, too. Also, for those of you who aren't familiar with how the WW works, you get a bank of 35 points to use whenever you want during the week.

Here's how the first day played out:

Points target: 32
Activity earned: 6
Daily total: 37
Flex points bank: 35

Good start, I'd say!

Celebrity mom inspiration:

Project Yummy Mummy

It's time to talk about the baby weight. Let's start at the beginning.

I was not one of those people who could wear a little extender on her jeans and put off buying maternity clothes until the third trimester. Not at all. In fact, I bought a couple pairs of maternity jeans before I even got around to spreading the news! So at my first OBGyn appointment I asked the nurse, who you see first, if I should worry about weight. She gave me a little lecture saying not to stress about it, just eat healthy food and they would touch base with me if things got out of control.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

As someone who's never been medically overweight, I've still erred on the side of curvy rather than svelte and spent a great deal of time trying to sway the results in the other direction. I was looking forward to not being fixated on the scale for a while.

Then the doctor came in. I didn't bother to ask the question again, but he took it upon himself to bring the subject up. His lecture was about how I shouldn't gain too much! Here's the kicker - he didn't reference the health of me or my baby in his warning. He only said that I'd have a harder time losing it. It was all about aesthetics.

In case there was any question, I chose to listen to the nurse. But the assholey doctor was right.

In a few days, my little one will be seven months old already. The baby weight that was supposed to just magically disappear through breastfeeding and pushing a stroller through the neighbourhood has remained firmly in place. Not that I'm not to blame! I think the people who promised me it would be easy thoroughly underestimated my commitment to croissant sampling and fatigue-induced carb binges. There was also that succession of chocolate-eating holidays (Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter) that fell during the earliest and most challenging (so far!) days.

But now I'm ready to pay attention to the scale once again. If only so I can stop wearing those same maternity jeans that I first bought. Other non-scale goals include:

- Wearing my wedding rings again (I'm so close! And I miss them.)
- Getting some professional shots of the family (Not so keen on full-length photos of myself at the moment.)
- Wearing all those other clothes in my wardrobe (They will seem like new again after all this time!)

Most importantly, I want to be a strong, healthy example for my daughter. And that means NOT having breakfast dessert. (Yes, you read that right.)

I'm going to use this space to work toward my goal, much like I used it originally to pay off my debt! Starting tomorrow, I'm going to weigh myself and post the number. (Gah!) Then I'm going to follow trusty old Weight Watchers, meaning I'll post how many points I have each day and how many I use. You guys will be my community, because I can't bring myself to go back to WW meetings. When you've done the program a couple of times, which I have, you cannot sit through the same lesson on how to order at a restaurant or deal with saboteurs. You just can't.

I've been thinking about doing this for a while, but have felt weird about being open and vulnerable about this online. But I need some support. And you guys were SO instrumental in helping me with my debt! Therefore... here we go...

The Simple Pleasures

Children seem to require a lot of stuff.

Many people would disagree and certainly millions of children around the world are raised without all the North American trappings, but ask any parent who has received even 15 minutes of relief from a vibrating chair/swing/wrap/sling/playmat/pack 'n play/Bumbo/Jolly Jumper/[insert ridiculous sounding, but necessary item here] and I feel fairly certain that they'll say it was worth it.

That being said, on a recent trip to the toy store* we ignored the flashier options and managed to spend only $1.99 plus tax.

On a simple rubber ball.











She loves it! It's just the right size and weight for her to hold on to.

Is this a lesson her parents can hang on to?

*Confession! At a different toy store a few days earlier, we spent close to $30 on an awesome lion puppet, because it made her smile. We are suckers for that shark-toothed smile. Hopefully she never figures that out...

Tee hee

We got a really good laugh out of our little Viver tonight. We work SO hard to get this kid to giggle, but tonight the wee giggles turned into a throaty joyful laugh. The Husband said it actually made him tear up a bit.



She's a happy girl, so we must be doing something right.

Half-birthday

Last summer, as I was trying to rock my baby bump in record high temperatures, we started looking for daycare for our unborn child.

Seriously. For January 2012.

It was the weirdest thing, although necessary in this city, to try to choose people to look after my kid when I didn't even know who he or she was. Hell, I didn't even know how to look after him or her yet!!

But today SHE is six months old. Already. Her first half-birthday. And I think I know her pretty well:

- She rarely wakes up crying and is super happy to see us first thing in the morning. When I sit down beside her crib and look in at her, the smile she rewards me with is incredible. It makes the fact that it's 6 A.M. a teeny bit more bearable.

- She loves her change pad! Not sure if it's the poppies on the wall beside it or the black and white art pictures above it, but she's always smiley and kicky when we put her down to change her diaper.



- She's already talkative, despite the fact that she doesn't have any words yet. She enjoys talking through her stories, at the movies and if no one is paying attention to her. She'll also have babble conversations with us. Her new favourite sound involves a gurgling noise in her throat that is nearly impossible to imitate.

- If reincarnation exists, she was a serious foodie in her past life and can't wait to get past all these mushy, pureed meals. She hasn't given us any problems with any of the food we've offered her, but she shows little to no delight in the process of eating. She just wants us to keep shoveling it in while she stares longingly at every bite we put in our own mouths.



- She loves music! I can distract her from crying if I sing to her and she takes great delight if we sing and dance around like idiots for her. I'm looking forward to her joining us before too long.

- This kid needs her naps. She's cranky without them. So every two hours, almost like clockwork, she shows us the signs and we hustle to put her to bed.



- So far, she's really enjoying storytime. I'm crossing my fingers that our love of books will be passed on to her.

- Don't cuddle this kid too long! She's independent and would rather lay on her own than sit on your lap. But she still wants us to play with her and adores zerberts and airplane rides.

- A dirty diaper doesn't bother her one bit, so we need to keep checking for any... events. (Although now we can smell them much better now that solid food is involved!)



- Motion of any sort puts her right out, so car trips and walks in the stroller are a breeze.

- She's super bendy. Like, she arches her back and almost touches her head to her bum. We're thinking of selling her to the circus if she steps out of line.

- One of her many nicknames is Sock Houdini, because she will get at least one sock off within seconds of us putting it on. Thank goodness it's summer, so she can just go barefoot for a while.

- Jolly Jumper = Happy Vivi

Page turning

So, I haven't had much time to read lately.* Shocking, I know! Truth is, most of my reading in the last couple of years has taken place on public transit. And I can count the number of times I've been a guest on the TTC in the past six months on one hand.

(I also have a backlog of roughly 100 magazines to work my way through. Damn magazine obsession!)

I did, however, get a book I requested for Mother's Day — Tina Fey's Bossypants.



I'll admit. I have totally drunk the Tina Fey Kool-Aid. I can't get enough of this smart, funny woman. I want to be her friend, so she can come around for dinner and we can drink just a bit too much wine and have extra pieces of cake and laugh so hard that tea comes out of our noses.

(I also want to sneak up behind her, cut off a lock of her hair, and find some mad scientist who can use the follicles to create a potion that will make me just a tiny bit more like her. Is that so wrong?)

The book was light, amusing and just what I needed. It was also an easy-to-hold-open hardcover, had large-ish font and generous leading, which made it easy to read while nursing. (Well, easy if I didn't mind cranking my head over to one side for 20 minute intervals.) Finishing it felt satisfying, but left me wanting more.

Then, after watching a movie trailer for a new Anne Hathaway film, I was intrigued enough to look up the book the movie is based upon.

And it looked good.

So when I needed to fill out an Amazon order, so I could get free shipping (Damn those evil geniuses!), I picked it up.


It sat on my bedside table, taunting me, for about two weeks. You see, it's a trade paperback with much smaller text and tighter leading, so I could not balance breastfeeding and reading with this one.

Ah, but then we took a trip up north this past weekend. Three hours in the car where the littlest member of the family sleeps like an angel. Uninterrupted reading time! I even brought a flashlight along, so I could read when the sun went down. Then I snuck in some more reading during her naps over the weekend and read most of the way home, too. Add a few more stolen moments this week and I have completely devoured this book.

Don't you LOVE books like that!?! Books that grab you from the first page and make you have to keep reading? Books that have you very close to tears at the end, even though you're sitting in your dentist's office, waiting to get a filling. The writing was engaging and the premise was interesting and the characters weren't caricatures.

In short, I really liked it. I would totally recommend it, especially if you need to take a long plane ride and require entertainment, or something like that. I'm hoping that Hollywood doesn't fuck it up too much.

*A few exceptions: Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs!, In the Garden with Van Gogh and I Am A Bunny.

Say cheese!

What better way to pass the last half hour before bath, books and bedtime than an impromptu photoshoot?





The one nearly impossible task these days is capturing a smile directly, since Vivi gets serious at the first sight of the camera. But everyone once in a while...

The Duke and Duchess

I know I'm a few days late and a couple of other...ahem... weighty news items have taken over, but let's talk about the royal wedding.



The Husband and I set the alarm to get up at 5 A.M., so we could watch history being made.

(Can I just interject that it's crazy for people with a baby to get up when the baby is still sleeping. I suffered mightily later for that decision, when Vivi decided that she wasn't so into napping that day.)

Yes, it was lovely. All pomp and circumstancey. Very royal, although still seeming like they really wanted to be there. And the one little petulant bridesmaid added just the right touch of reality.

Still, I can't help but hope that a few days before the spectacle, there was a tiny, private ceremony with just a handful of friends and family. That Kate got to walk down the aisle to her favourite cheesy song and Pippa didn't steal any of her thunder, because she was just wearing something off the rack from Top Shop. That Will and Kate read each other vows that they wrote about little inside jokes only they know. That they held hands and looked into each other's eyes when they said, "I do." That they sealed the deal with a big 'ol smooch rather than a couple of terse, public kisses. That Will fist-pumped the air and whooped for joy while Kate laughed.

Something just for them. Before they had to put on a show for the rest of the world.

But maybe that's just me.

She could have worn the same dress, though. That was beautiful!!

Sing out, Louise!

I totally joined glee club.

Except that's not what it's called at all. And we haven't sung any Journey, yet. Plus, no one has tossed a slushie in my face.

That is, however, what the Husband calls it. And how I've come to think of it.

Remember when I joined a choir a couple of years ago? And how much I enjoyed singing again? Well, that only lasted one season, because I found the choir director condescending and disrespectful. Especially considering that we were paying to be there! Alas, I pushed singing to the back burner once again and went on with my life.

(Insert getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, getting pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, here.)

Since Vivi was born, I've been singing all the time! Little songs that the Husband and I make up, children's songs that I remember, lullabies... I was reminded how much I enjoy it.

So I looked up a program that I had seen online a couple of years ago at the Avenue Road Arts School , which is conveniently close to me. It's simply called Broadway Showtunes and is a group of adults (20-25 or so) belting out Broadway hits together, led by a charming gentleman and accompanied by a major player in Toronto's musical landscape.

Guys, it's SO MUCH FUN!

The group is wildly diverse, ranging in age from about 24 to 70+. Many of them have been doing it for close to 20 years. They don't even all read music, nor do they have to, because there are lyric sheets (hundreds of them!) rather than sheet music. It's not about getting things perfect or planning for a show. It's just singing for the love of it. Which is exactly what I was looking for.

It's so good for me to have a scheduled time away from Violet, too. A much-needed break to recharge and feed my own soul, so I can bring more energy back to her.

When I started, I had no intention of advertising my training or experience. The cat, however, is out of the bag. And they could not be more complimentary or adoring. I wasn't looking for an ego-boost, but I'll take it!

Looking back at that old choir post, it's funny that I was worried about Andrew Lloyd Webber medleys. That's pretty much what I've signed up for! But it's so much better than I could have imagined.

134 days

Violet is 19 weeks old today. I started out knowing nothing. Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned in those 134 days:

- The infant phase, where they sleep in your arms for hours, is so short. It's hard not to spend that little bit of time wishing they would smile or play or do something. Now I worry that I didn't appreciate it quite enough.

- Birth is unbelievably hard on your body. I spent all sorts of time reading about labour and worrying how that would go. That part was not hard for me. (Don't hate me.) But the three weeks after that were brutal. Nobody told me. And it didn't occur to me how painful it would be for my uterus, which had expanded to a thousand times its normal size, to contract back. Those afterpains were worse than contractions for me. And they lasted, like, a week.

- When I made it an event, getting up with her in the middle of the night wasn't so bad at all. For the first couple of weeks, I tried to feed her in bed. That wasn't very comfortable, we woke the Husband up and I would get impatient for her to finish eating, because I couldn't think of any other fun things to look up on my Blackberry. When I started taking her downstairs, where I had laid out a healthy(ish) snack for myself, a glass of water, and had some TV on DVD to entertain me, it was much more palatable. Plus, it was kind of nice to feel like she and I were the only two people awake in the world.

- I am not always good at asking for help. My amazing friends, family and husband know that and never wait for me to ask.

- Watching someone learn is incredible. I never had any desire to be a teacher, but now I throw a parade when Vivi reaches up to bat at a toy or grabs her spoon while I'm feeding her. I am incredibly excited about the millions of milestones still ahead.

-Sleep deprivation is as hard as everyone says it is. What was even worse for me was the anxiety of not knowing how long I would have to sleep. So I would lie there awake, too worried about how little sleep I would get, to actually get any sleep. That was bad. Now Vivi sleeps through the night and I appreciate every single moment.

- I consider myself a well-organized person, but I have had to up my game in order to ever get out of the house with her in tow.

- A year of maternity leave is an incredible luxury and makes me love being a Canadian even more than I already did. However, my grand plans of what to do with my "time off" have had to be altered. After I've fed her, changed her, played with her, coerced her to nap, done a load of laundry, made some meals, fed her, changed her, played with her, gone for a walk while she naps, bathed her, read to her, fed her, changed her, sung to her, put her to bed, I'm done. And so is the day.

- I want her to be happy, healthy and feel loved more than anything else in the whole world.


- And time really does go so, so fast.

A little bit of me and a whole lot of you

Before Vivi was born, we would spend a lot of time ruminating on how our genes would combine. Would she have the Husband's blue eyes? My perfect lips*? His long legs? My squared-off toes? Now that she's growing into herself**, everyone wants to weigh in on who she more closely resembles.

I thought I'd post some baby photos of each of us, so the blogosphere could weigh-in. Me first:



(Could my brother be any cuter? And my dad was soooo skinny!)



And here's the Husband in his younger years:






I have to say, I think the Husband wins. Hands down. Luckily I think he's damn cute.

*In 1997 a makeup artist told me my lips were perfect. I chose to believe her.

**It's totally true that parents think their baby is the cutest one, regardless of whether or not that is true. We never thought Vivi had that alien-esque newborn look. However, looking back at pictures now, she was pretty squishy and weird looking. In the BEST possible way.