Here we go

I realized something today: I am totally at the bottom of the mountain.



What the hell am I talking about? Well, whenever there's some task that seems huge and impossible in front of me, I get this feeling like I'm standing at the bottom of a mountain, just looking up. Helpless. Totally at a loss as to how I'm ever going to be able to scale it. And right now, there's the house hunt, the start of a new issue of the magazine and the pregnancy. (Yes, I'm about halfway through and still feel like I'm at the bottom of the mountain, mostly because I'm so completely unfamiliar with everything that's still to come.) All of that work and effort and stress is just waiting there in front of me.

I think that's why I'm feeling very protective of my downtime right now. Why I spent a good chunk of the weekend hibernating at home with the cat, napping and hanging on to my precious energy stores.

But it's okay. Because the very fact that I recognize that I'm at the bottom is SO much better than not realizing why I'm feeling the pressure. Because logic and experience tell me that if I just keep plugging away, putting one foot in front of the other, nose to the grindstone, I'm going to be halfway up that mountain before I know it. And then the peak will be in view. And the view will be worth it.

Saturday evening musings

*I've got my iPod on shuffle as I write this post, so I'll fill you in on the random songs that come up as they come up.

"Birth of the Blues" by Sammy Davis Jr.

Having a fantastic rainy Saturday! After a quick hello phone call with the Husband who is away in Huntington Beach, California, for work, I ventured out for brunch. I've really been trying to expand my repertoire of restaurants in this city, so I suggested a little place called Saving Grace on Dundas St. West. It was a little off the beaten track for me, but nowhere TTC couldn't take me!

"Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones

I walked over from Bathurst in the soupy humid morning and was so pleased to see my lovely brunch companion already waiting for me, even though I was ten minutes early. (Can I just say - I heart people who are early and/or on time. I SO appreciate punctuality!!) As I'd suspected from some online reviews, we had to wait about 15 minutes to get a table in the teeny restaurant, but we were busy catching up so it was all good.

"How Insensitive" by my old friend Leah State!

What I neglected to consider on this incredibly humid morning was that the charming little neighbourhood spot would have neither air conditioning nor a cross-breeze once we were seated! Plus, you know, there was a KITCHEN going full tilt a few feet away. So it was hot. But the food was completely delicious. Oh, the beverages, too! I had blueberry lemonade and my companion had fresh lime soda water that came with a little pitcher of sugar water, so she could sweeten it as much or as little as she wanted. Nice!

"River" by Joni Mitchell (My iPod is feeling low-key, apparently)

Anyway, lovely meal and a stroll through Trinity Bellwoods Park led to some browsing along Queen Street where we stopped in to say hello to a fellow classmate and friend at her place of employment. But it was just so humid that I was happy to come home and park myself in front of the air conditioner for a while.

(Air conditioner installation = a really, really, really good idea!)

Been lazing around since then. Watched two episodes of Friday Night Lights, which is my current television obsession.

"Hlohonolfatsa" by Soweto Gospel Choir

Also had a big old nap, because I felt like it and had nothing so pressing as to get in the way of just going for it. Isn't there something so awesome about being able to give over to fatigue in the middle of the day? Like, most of the time that the feeling hits us, we have to quash it because we're working or something needs to get done, but sometimes you can just enjoy it. Which I did!

"Hard to Say Goodbye" from the musical "Violet"

Other stuff I wanted to catch you up on! We saw five more houses early last week, bringing out total up to 13. Loved about 80% of one of the, including an amazing kitchen and backyard, but the location totally sucked. Not within walking distance to any city conveniences, on an undesirable street and right off a very busy main street. Sigh!

"Closer" by Only By the Night (This is one of those mysterious songs. I don't know what it is or where it came from... Skipping now.
"No More" from "Into the Woods"

I also realized that the house and location are going to have to be pretty terrific in order for me to want to leave our neighbourhood here. I love where we live. I don't love living on the top floor of an apartment building in an apartment that's already a bit small for us, but I love being so close to the subway and the Beltline trail and the whole area. I love being able to walk to three grocery stores and a movie theatre and all sorts of great shops. It's going to be a big transition to leave.

On a more fun note, I went to see some musical theatre this week with a friend that was there every step of the way during my musical theatre years. We saw "Legally Blonde: The Musical."

"Keep Holding On" by the Glee cast

It wasn't a show I ever thought I'd want to pay to see, because I have a chip on my shoulder about musicals based on movies. But we got a really great deal on the tickets, so I thought, why not? I'm so glad we went! I happen to be a fan of the movie, I'm not going to lie. And the show was just as frothy and fun as the movie, with a few genuine laughs and some awesome talent. One actress, the one that plays Brooke Wyndham, belted out an amazing number WHILE JUMPING ROPE THE ENTIRE TIME! Seriously. When I was seeing the personal trainer, I dreaded the few minutes of jumping rope that she would have me do, because it was so hard. And this chick was breezing through it AND singing. Amazing.

"Someone to Watch Over Me" by Frank Sinatra

That's pretty much it over here. Except, of course, the 17 week belly shot:



Also, I SWEAR I have some music on my iPod that would actually be considered current, but apparently it doesn't feel like playing any of it right now!

The joys and worries of week 16, plus roomies and roadtrips

Introducing, the week 16 official belly shot:



For the most part, I am really enjoying being pregnant now. I love sticking my little (but getting bigger) belly out, especially after I've eaten a big lunch. When else in life do you get to flaunt a bit of a bloat? Now that the Baby can hear stuff, both the Husband and I have started talking to it, which is like a dry run at parenting. This morning the Husband actually tried some discipline when I explained that the baby wanted pancakes! He won, but only because we didn't have any syrup in the house. (Note to self: buy syrup.)

But the hormones. Oh but they get ya! For example, this was an actual conversation today:

Husband: "What's the matter?"
Me: "My hair is making me cry!"

Seriously.

Also, I'm not even quite halfway through the gestation part of being a mom and there is already so much stuff to worry about. We need to figure out if we're going to hire a doula. Then we need to find time to meet some and choose one. There are some prenatal classes that we need to book, but with the Husband's work schedule being completely unpredictable and involving so much time away from home, how do we plan in advance? And the biggest concern for this being who is only the size of an avocado thus far: Daycare!

Sigh. All of my very smart friends who have children in this city keep stressing to me that we need to get on some daycare lists NOW if we want our little one to have somewhere to go when I go back to work in January 2012. So even though I don't know this child of mine - whether it's a boy or girl, what it likes, what it doesn't like - I need to choose the strangers to hand it over to when it's a year old. Oh, and then there's the fact that we have no idea where we'll be living in January 2012! So my laid-back attitude around finding a house is slowly eroding into, "WE NEED TO FIND A HOUSE!"

Don't worry. I'll make it. Deep breaths. (Don't want to flood the baby in my stress hormones!)

On a lighter note, I had a fantastic day yesterday. One of my college roomies and I took a road trip to Welland to visit the third roomie of our trio in her gorgeous new house. It should have taken about an hour and a half to get there, but between crazy traffic, three bouts of the kind of insane rain where you can't really see the road, one hailstorm (!!!), and a few little lost moments, we made it in just under four. Luckily that still gave us time to get in a great visit and enjoy a beautiful summer's evening in her newly acquired backyard gazebo and comfy lawn furniture. And, as always, we snapped a pic to remember it by:

The last of the San Francisco, finally!

Get this - I am home, enjoying the gentle roar of the air conditioner, with nothing to do. Did you catch that last part? NOTHING TO DO!

Of course, that's not really true. There are always things to do, because the dishwasher won't unload itself. But nothing absolutely pressing that must be done right at this very moment. Meaning I can hang out for a bit, which I really feel like I need.

It also means I can finally upload a few last pics of San Francisco! These are from my day of neighbourhood tours. Meaning the day that I walked WAY too much. They are also mostly about real estate envy.

This first one was in my guidebook and it did not disappoint:


What did disappoint was the fact that there are tours through this amazing house, but I was there on the wrong day! Oh to almost be able to actually look inside one of these fantastic structures only to be thwarted at the last minute! Sigh. Moving on.

Okay, this is not a good photo (I didn't have the good camera that morning), but my guidebook informed me that this is where romance novelist Danielle Steel lives:


Not too bad, right? She must be selling at least a few books. (Oh, something else I could be doing: Writing bestselling novels to help aid in our house hunt!!)

Speaking of house hunting, here's one for sale:


Mmmmm... wonder if it's in our budget? Maybe if we lived just on the porch!

Can't resist a pretty red door:



Imagine what the room at the top of the turret would be like in this one:



And no wonder I was so tired. Look at how steep these hills are:



However, the reward for climbing these crazy inclines is the view at the top:



And when I needed a little extra reward, I knew where to find it:



Thank you San Francisco! You were so good to me.

Week 15

This past week just flew by! Wednesday evening we went out for our first round of house hunting where we saw a few truly scary options, a couple okay and one that was sooo close, but with some insurmountable problems that took it out of the running. And then Thursday evening I slept. Seriously. I came home from work and slept for a while. Made and ate dinner and then slept some more. Then managed to watch about 45 minutes of TV before going to sleep for the night. I have no idea whether the heat got to me or if I was still playing catch-up from vacation or if the baby is going through a growth spurt.

Friday night we headed north to see the Husband's mom after work and we just got home now! It was the perfect summer weekend up north. Hot and sunny, but not oppressive. We even waded into Georgian Bay today, which was oh so nice.

More soon, but for now, here's the 15 week belly shot:

Getting it done

Post-vacation life is always so hectic, isn't it? After a long day of travel to get home on Saturday, including an awful experience at the San Francisco airport (How are airlines going bankrupt when they have NO EMPLOYEES?) and then a day of groceries, laundry and long-ago purchased tickets to see Cirque du Soleil on Sunday, we started out the work week totally exhausted! So I feel like I've been playing catch-up the last two days and there's still far to go. But who can accomplish anything in this heat?

Yes, the Toronto heat wave has brought me to my knees. I don't ever remember this kind of stickiness, but maybe the fact that I'm carrying around another human being has something to do with my intolerance.

When we moved into our current apartment more than three years ago, it was supposed to come with air conditioning. When we asked about that, the landlord at the time presented us with a brand new window unit still in its original packaging. Now, I may have mentioned this before, but we are not handy people. After a couple of half-hearted attempts to contact some guy in the building who had helped other people install their units, we just gave up and shoved the box in the back of the coat closet. On hot days we appeased ourselves with these thoughts: At least our view isn't spoiled! and We're being so environmentally friendly and saving money on hydro!

Today, those excuses no longer held any water with me. I needed an air conditioner!!

So two hours later, after much confusion, a YouTube search on "how to install air conditioner window units," one phone call and one Skype call with my friend who knows how to do everything (seriously, she always knows), and the clever re-use of a loose kickboard from one of our dozen Ikea Billy bookcases, ta dah:


It may not be pretty* and the temperature on it may have only gone down by about 5 degrees in the past 2.5 hours, but I can breathe and there isn't a layer of sweat on my skin at all times. So I'm considering this a victory.

I'm also sleeping in the living room tonight!

By the way, I finally downloaded my San Francisco pictures from the other camera. I'll post them later this week, since the next two nights are busy with the beginning of the house hunt!

*Strangely enough, we only had the duct tape because of our bad San Francisco airport experience. That part involved trying to bring bottles of wine home in our luggage on United Airlines. Don't do it.

San Francisco - Day Six

It's the Husband's birthday today, so rather than rushing up and out into the city, I took my time this morning and spent the couple of hours before he had to go to work hanging out with him. I went down to the French bistro below us (how I will miss it!) and got some yummy breakfast takeout. I also surprised him with a gift I picked up at Chronicle Books the other day. His real gift for this big (he's 40!) birthday is a trip to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, which we'll take later in the summer/fall, hopefully when there's a launch happening.

Before I set out on my adventures yesterday, we commemorated the 14 week mark of my pregnancy with the first official belly shot:


If it looks a little big for 14 weeks, it's probably at least 20% vacation belly! Seriously, it's time to go home now, so that I don't have the "I'm on vacation" excuse to eat novelty food items. Like fudge. And chocolate croissants.

Anyway, I started my morning back at Pier 39 at Aquarium on the Bay:




The tunnels were really cool. You truly felt like you were underwater:


And then I got to the Touch Pools, where you're allowed to touch! I touched skates:


And a bat ray, which was really friendly:


And a turtle:


I also touched a shark (!!!), but I didn't get a great shot of him. Speaking of sharks... I went back to the shark tunnel for their feeding time, which was cool. Two divers went into the tunnel to feed them:


Post aquarium, I headed to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I'd heard really great things about this place from all sorts of people and it did not disappoint!

Here's a shot of the lobby:


Some art:


Who doesn't like a museum where you get to walk through a curtain of gold beads!?


This piece was really cool. Different words would periodically light up, sending different messages:


The rooftop sculpture garden and café is really lovely:


And this cool trestle bridge, which freaked me out because you could kind of see through it and down six floors!


Since I'd really not slept well the night before, I followed all this up with a three-hour nap and then just wandered around the city a bit in the early evening. I must admit, even though I've had a FANTASTIC time, it suddenly hit me yesterday afternoon that I'm ready to go home now. I want my own kitchen. I want to see Daphne. I'd like to get back to my routine. As much as I adore going on vacation, I also love going home again. So I'm glad that tomorrow is our journey home.

Meanwhile, one last day today! I was hoping I would have lots of energy to tackle a few of the things I'd still really like to do, but I think I'll take it a bit easy instead. Tonight I will get the chance to eat at the restaurant the Husband has been filming at all week, which I'm looking forward to. For now, I'm going to finally hop in the shower and face this day!