Freedom 33.5

10 Months

2011-10-09T21:34:00.002-04:00

Planning ahead

2011-09-12T21:11:00.002-04:00

During our outing to the Riverdale Art Walk this past weekend, I couldn't resist buying a couple of gorgeous little dresses for Viv. Normally I find the prices from independent vendors a little too steep for our budget, but these ones were both on sale for less than half-price!

They're not going to fit her for quite awhile, but she's going to be damn cute (and chic!) when they do!

36 random things about me at 36

2011-09-08T06:00:00.000-04:00

Happy birthday to me!

1. I’ve learned all the words to 6418* songs.

2. I’ve come to terms with the fact that long hair does not suit me. But it can't be too short, either.

3. I fulfilled my dream of being paid to sing onstage.

4. I had the good sense to realize that being paid to sing onstage was no longer my dream.

5. I fulfilled my dream of working on a fashion magazine.

6. I had the good sense to realize that I didn’t enjoy trying to keep up with the fashion magazine crowd. (Rarely wore the latest trend/had nice nails/liked after-hours events. The swag, however, was pretty awesome.)

7. I realized there are other magazines out there.

8. I recognize the value of weight training and actually quite enjoy it.

9. I’ve given up on finding high heels that don’t make me want to cut off my own feet after 30 minutes. (Not that I’ll never wear them! Just that I’ll likely complain to the Husband about them the entire time.)

10. I can own the fact that pineapple is my favourite pizza topping.

11. I’m totally proud to have a song on iTunes.

12. I’ve accepted that a well-fitting bra costs (a lot) more than $19.99 and can make more of a difference than a ten-pound weight loss. Also that I need a professional to help me find it.

13. I’m never going to be a great housekeeper or a handy person. That’s okay. I’ve got other things to do, anyway. (I can, however, tidy and organize like a mofo!)

14. I love the following feelings: putting warm boots on after skating or skiing, drinking cold water after having a mint, being enveloped in a hug by the Husband, and putting my cheek on Vivi’s warm head.

15. My biggest challenge in life is inertia. Momentum is my friend.

16. I love to cook and bake, but I need the roadmap of a recipe. Although I'm getting better at taking some detours.

17. I do best with schedules and routines. Sometimes I really suck at going with the flow. Obviously this is a bigger problem now that there is a child in the mix.

18. I would rather be up early than stay up late.

19. My chocolate chip cookies are the best.

20. I keep thinking I should make a bucket list and then cultivate a plan to cross some items off of it. (See #15.)

21. I used to force myself to finish every book I started and read every magazine from cover to cover. I’m over that now.

22. I am too easily swayed by other people’s opinions. Always have been. Still working on that.

23. I miss blogging regularly.

24. If there were parallel universes, I would also pursue the following careers: photographer, shop owner (stationary store/bakery), broadcast journalist, television producer, bon vivant.

25. I’d like to stop caring so much about the unchangeable “unattractive” (according to the media) parts of my body, such as having short, wide nail beds and translucent skin that shows every little vein and pore. How do I do that?

26. I love, love, love buying art. And since discovering Etsy and the million other awesome websites that sell original art, I can’t imagine ever purchasing art from a chain store again.

27. I’m currently suffering from my first true health issue that gets in the way of doing everything I want to do. It’s stupid foot pain that may or may not be plantar faciitis. Physio is helping, but I still limp first thing in the morning, wear ugly Crocs around the house, suffer after long walks and cannot even conceive of going for a run. This is a good reminder that I better take care of this body or things could go downhill very quickly.

28. Vivi inspires me to sing every day, multiple times, which I hadn’t done for many years. Feels good.

29. Every time we buy a lottery ticket, I really, truly think we’re going to win.

30. I have a couple famous-ish friends and plenty of famous-ish acquaintances. I have no shame about namedropping.

31. I don’t have the vision to turn other people’s garbage into my treasures. I wish I did.

32. Shopping for pants is incredibly hard on my self-esteem.

33. I’ve cultivated friendships that keep me happy, challenged and, most importantly, sane.

34. I found one of the good guys and tricked him into marrying me, buying a house with me and bringing me flowers now and then.

35. I gave birth to a cute kid. I hope she always likes me as much as I like her.

36. So far, every year has been better than the last. Bring on the next 36!

*This number could be a little high or could be grossly underestimated. I’ve never kept hard data, but turn on a car radio and I can probably sing along.

Pour less sugar on me

2011-08-09T15:56:00.004-04:00

Um, hi.

Yes. I went missing there for a while. And yes, I totally fell off the wagon. I tried to run alongside it for awhile, with every intention of hopping back on as soon as possible. But I stopped for a minute. Probably to buy a cookie. And it took off without me.

As most of you know from my slightly bitter Facebook posts, we are in teething hell over here. It feels like it's been going on forever! Her top teeth (or side teeth or back teeth or ALL of her teeth) are giving my poor, sweet girl a really hard time. Which makes everything hard. And while I was soothing her with medication, cuddles and non-stop nursing, I soothed myself with treats.

And I don't know about you guys, but I'm an all-or-nothing kind of a girl. Either I am fully committed to eating well or I am making a beeline for the nearest pastry.

But then the ground shifted a little. (Under me, not Vivi's teeth, unfortunately.)

It started with the adult swim class that I took a few weeks ago. It was nine one-hour lessons spread over two weeks. Yes, I already had the swimming basics down pat, from my childhood lessons, but I've never known how to do very many different strokes or how to put my face in the water. I'd like to swim for fitness, so I figured this would give me the tools and the confidence to do so.

Well, about halfway through the lessons, while still indulging in many a sweet craving, I hopped on the scale and was down a couple of pounds.

Huh!

Then I had a little epiphany out of the blue. Imagine what would happen if I shelved the sweet tooth for a while? I had recently noticed how awful my beloved sugar was making me feel, both physically (headachy, lethargic) and mentally (moody, short-tempered). So what if I cut WAY back?

Well, it's been almost two weeks and I'm happy to report that the scale is currently at 166.5 lb. I've given up my nightly frozen yogurt (which has been my tradition for YEARS) for a smoothie, which is totally satisfying. (Finally bought an immersion blender and am currently having a bit of a love affair with it.) I'm still having treats here and there, rather than several times a day, and I'm not counting for now. Counting points was just one more thing on my currently long list of things to juggle.

Amazingly, I didn't feel any drastic withdrawal feelings and I'm not crazy with cravings at all.

We'll see how far this takes me!

More celebrity mom inspiration:

Aaaaaand... we're back!

2011-07-25T20:51:00.001-04:00

Okay, I know that hitting the reset button on a Monday morning is horribly cliché. But clichés exist for a reason. Monday seems like the perfect opportunity for a fresh start!

I made it to the gym this morning after a week off last week. Felt hard, but good.

The gym is having an interesting effect on me. You know how people who lose a lot of weight often say that they still think of themselves as heavy? Well, all the mirrors at the gym are reminding me of the extra weight I'm carrying! We only have a couple of mirrors actually hung in our house at this point (yes, still moving in) and the image of myself that I carry around with me is the pre-pregnancy one. So I am extra motivated to get moving.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 36
Activity earned: 6
Flex points bank: 35

Wee break

2011-07-19T12:53:00.004-04:00

Okay, I know I'm only two weeks in and I don't want to lose my momentum, but I'm putting the plan on the back burner. Just for a couple of days. I've got a bit of a perfect storm happening, with a cranky teething child who won't nap, helping my bestie out with childcare for her kids, and, well, woman troubles. If you catch my drift.

I know lots and lots and LOTS of women deal with much more difficult situations than I'm experiencing. They are awesome. I am just tired.

And sometimes fatigue requires a piece of chocolate chip banana bread.

Two weeks down

2011-07-19T07:40:00.003-04:00

Okay, no time for a proper post! More soon.

Sunday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 39
Flex points bank: 22

Monday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: ?? (Yes, I got sort of lax.)

Second week weigh-in: 170
DOWN 1.5 lbs

Total loss: 4 lbs!

The boy from Oz

2011-07-13T11:09:00.009-04:00

I am in love.

I'm not usually prone to celebrity worship. But after seeing Hugh Jackman's stage show this past week, I might consider becoming a groupie and stalking him full-time. Sure, it'll be awkward with Viv strapped to my back. And the Husband may not particularly like my new found purpose in life. (Although he'll totally understand! In fact, he predicted that I would fall for the Aussie after seeing him live onstage.)

But I can't help myself! He was so spectacular!! I laughed, I cried, I screamed (although not nearly as loud as a few of the women in the audience) and I gained a whole new respect for Wolverine. He sang "Soliloquy" from Carousel. It was absolutely beautiful. He told a few poignant tales from his life, but also poked fun at his Hollywood experiences. It was a really fantastic night out.

Too bad for the Husband that our second date night since Vivi was born ended with me lusting after another man...

Here's how the last few days have played out. It's been busy! (Vivi has screamed more in the last four days than in the past four months.)

Wednesday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 32
Activity points earned: 7
Flex points bank: 34

Thursday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 32
Flex points bank: 34

Friday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 39
Activity points earned: 7
Flex points bank: 34

Saturday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 37
Flex points bank: 29

And one more. Just 'cause.

Welcome to the jungle

2011-07-12T11:11:00.003-04:00

Exhausting day! Managed to get the kid to nap for about 45 minutes total in the house and another 30 minutes while I was out walking. (Had a lovely, unexpected visit with a good friend today. Thank goodness for a reality touchstone!) I think she also snoozed a bit in the car on the way to and from my dentist appointment.

While I'm happy for every bit of sleep she gets, on the harder days it's difficult to not resent that she will only sleep in situations that don't allow ME to sleep. This fact is why new moms HATE the "sleep when the baby sleeps" advice. If only it were so easy!!

Currently she's back in her vibrating chair, in the living room. We're hoping it might knock her out and then we can transfer her to her crib. We tried putting it in her room, but that didn't go over well. Separation anxiety?

Anyway, despite the fact that I did not make it to the spinning class I was going to attend, it was a pretty good day.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 33
Flex points bank: 34

More celebrity mom inspiration.

I totally think Reese and I would be friends, given the chance.

One week down!

2011-07-10T07:36:00.002-04:00

Sorry! I went awol there for a little bit. It's just that Violet has suddenly decided a) to nurse A LOT, b) that her crib is a place of torture rather than a peaceful retreat, and c) that sleep is for the weak.

Yep. A trying couple of days around here. For about three months she's been happily sleeping in her crib for a few naps a day and from 6pm-ish to 6am-ish, only up once for a feeding and then right back down most nights. Sunday night we couldn't get her to sleep in her crib until 9:30pm. Last night it was 11pm, after an hour long walk, more than an hour of nursing, and lots and lots of screaming. And the only way she would nap yesterday was on my lap, after being nursed to sleep, or in the car.

Sigh.

Did I mention that the mornings after these trying nights she started her day at 5:30am?

Ugh. I am, once again, tired. Like, really tired. We think she's working on some more teeth and/or going through a growth spurt. All I know is that the awesome schedule I was accustomed to, where she would have 45 minute cat naps every two hours with little to no fuss, is gone. Time to figure out what to do now.

By 9am this morning, when she was clearly exhausted but not interested in being in her crib, I pulled out her vibrating chair. We had thought she was long done with it, preferring to wiggle and be free. It worked like a charm... for about a half an hour. I'll take what I can get!

Anyway, here's where we are with this challenge of mine.

Sunday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 36
Flex points bank: 18

Monday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: ?? (Things kind of fell apart at the end of the day. Not that I went crazy at all, just that counting was no longer a priority.)
Activity earned: 2

First week weigh-in: 171.5
DOWN 2.5 lbs!

That's the right direction! And it motivates me not to eat everything in the house today, even though this fatigue wreaks havoc with my willpower.

To market, to market

2011-07-09T14:10:00.004-04:00

Lovely summer Saturday!

Firstly, I get to sleep in on Saturdays. After I breastfeed the wee one, the Husband takes over, giving her some solid food and entertaining her until nap time. It's heavenly! I scootch over and sleep in the middle of the bed, spreading out. Ahhhhh!!!

Then we finally made it to Evergreen Toronto Brickworks for their farmer's market. What a fantastic place! Super cool and a GREAT spot for a special event. (We were saying we should get married again and do it there. A summer wedding this time, with white fairy lights strung up everywhere.)

But the real standout: the FOOD! Obviously they had all sorts of fresh, organic produce. (Hello cherries and kale!) Also lots of people selling the kind of yummy, grainy bread that makes grocery store bread look like the sad imitation of food that it is. What we weren't expecting was the all the booths selling incredible prepared meals!

In the end, we indulged in a plate of curried veggie tofu with both beet and quinoa salad, a vegan banana cupcake with maple icing and a small scoop of fresh, organic chocolate ice cream, which rocked my world. I had to do some guessing on the points, but since we split everything, I don't think it was so bad!

Here's how I think the day played out.

Daily target: 32
Daily total: 35
Flex points bank: 22

And here are a few shots.

All the excitement tired our little Vivi out:

Reunion!

2011-07-07T07:02:00.001-04:00

Busy day yesterday kept me from blogging! I got to see one of my lovely cousins, who was visiting the city with her gorgeous little family in tow. It had been 15 or 16 years since we last saw one another, besides Facebook, and it was like no time had passed at all. Her two daughters are gorgeous and sweet, and her husband felt like family. Good times!

Here's the stats.

Thursday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 33
Flex points bank: 31

Friday
Daily target: 32
Daily total: 41 (oops!)
Activity earned: 3
Flex points bank: 25

Best laid plans...

2011-07-06T14:30:00.003-04:00

I had high hopes for today. A morning trip to the gym for a weights class followed by a Stars and Strollers showing of "Bad Teacher." While I was bustling around, getting ready, I checked my email and saw that something I'd ordered was on the truck for delivery.

So I decided to skip the gym. Surely it would arrive before noon, so we could hit the movies.

And then we skipped the movie.

It's 2:35pm now. We're still waiting. Waiting to go OUTSIDE! There are some errands that we can run still, if it gets here soon.

Meanwhile, since I've been hesitant to start anything requiring a lot of time, in case Purolator arrives and we can get the hell out of here, we had a little photo shoot:

Gettin' my move on

2011-07-06T07:17:00.008-04:00

My one regret about my pregnancy is that I stopped exercising.

Initially I was quite determined not to let this happen. I had lots of good intentions and even subscribed to "Fit Pregnancy" magazine. (My name is Tammy and I am a magazine addict.) Then a combination of factors got in the way. In the early days, while I was still feeling good, an insane work schedule kept me from my lunchtime workouts. Then the fatigue/nausea/hunger set in and I couldn't figure out when to go to the gym when I wasn't a) exhausted, b) feeling disgusting, or c) ravenous or full of recently consumed food. Then I just got bigger and slower and, let's face it, the habit of going to the gym had long left me.

Cue signs of a not-so-active pregnancy, including carpal tunnel that caused me to wear splints at night, back pain requiring a big belly support girdle-thing and just a whole lot of trouble getting around. (I remember needing to get groceries, but not fathoming how I was going to get to the far end of the grocery store for eggs and back again. Not a fun time!)

Thankfully the inactivity didn't hinder delivery, which was altogether easy compared to most stories I've heard.

Then there was a wee baby to take care of and the dead of winter to contend with. December is actually a pretty good time to have a baby, as long as you don't get cabin-fever too badly. By spring I was ready for long walks. Except something wasn't right...

Cue plantar fasciitis. (Nope, not the wart thing. The heel thing.)

Apparently this annoying issue can be a very normal thing caused by pregnancy weight gain (also cute, flat, non-supportive shoes, which is all I wore for the last few months), but I can't help but think I might have avoided it if I hadn't gained so much.

I've been walking for months, despite the intense pain after even a half hour of leisurely hoofing. Also wearing supportive shoes during all my waking hours. (One of the Husband's colleagues said Crocs were good for this, so at home I sport bright blue plastic shoes I wouldn't be caught dead in outside. Cute for kids and fine for gardening, but not exactly the style statement I'm going for. They do, however, make my feet feel good.)

A couple of months ago, I was desperate to incorporate some more activity, so I went out for some walk/run intervals to get back in the swing of things. Only a half hour and nothing insane. Well, when I woke up to pee in the middle of the night, I couldn't put any weight on my bad foot.

So running was out.

All this to say that I started back at the gym last week. They have child-minding, which Vivi seems to quite enjoy so far. (She's an observer, watching what all the other kids are doing.) And I've learned that spinning* doesn't hurt the foot. Weights are good, too! And working out is helping make me feel like myself again. Finally!

Points target: 32
Daily total: 35
Flex points bank: 32

*Could barely keep my legs moving through yesterday's spin class, despite the inspiration of all the very toned bodies around me. Oh, and the pregnant woman in front of me whose due date is TODAY!

So far, so good

2011-07-05T07:13:00.006-04:00

First weigh-in bright and early this morning. (Vivi is a 6pm to 6am girl, with usually one nighttime waking these days, so no sleeping in for Mommy!)

My current weight is: 174 lbs

That's about 25 lbs more than I weighed when I got pregnant and about 35 lbs more than I'd like to weigh. But this isn't all about the numbers! First tangible goal is to get my wedding rings on once more. I can put each of them on separately, although not comfortably, but I can't seem to squish them on together.

Also, just to fill you all in, I am following WW, but not the latest and greatest version of it. (Free fruit! Sounds amazing!!) The only reason I'm hanging out in the Flex Points system is because I have all the stuff, including those little sliding scales that figure out how many points something is worth and some of the old info books.

I am still breastfeeding, so that gets me a bunch more points. (Yay!) And I am back at the gym (more on that soon), so I'll be earning-and most likely eating-activity points, too. Also, for those of you who aren't familiar with how the WW works, you get a bank of 35 points to use whenever you want during the week.

Here's how the first day played out:

Points target: 32
Activity earned: 6
Daily total: 37
Flex points bank: 35

Good start, I'd say!

Celebrity mom inspiration:

Project Yummy Mummy

2011-07-04T16:15:00.004-04:00

It's time to talk about the baby weight. Let's start at the beginning.

I was not one of those people who could wear a little extender on her jeans and put off buying maternity clothes until the third trimester. Not at all. In fact, I bought a couple pairs of maternity jeans before I even got around to spreading the news! So at my first OBGyn appointment I asked the nurse, who you see first, if I should worry about weight. She gave me a little lecture saying not to stress about it, just eat healthy food and they would touch base with me if things got out of control.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

As someone who's never been medically overweight, I've still erred on the side of curvy rather than svelte and spent a great deal of time trying to sway the results in the other direction. I was looking forward to not being fixated on the scale for a while.

Then the doctor came in. I didn't bother to ask the question again, but he took it upon himself to bring the subject up. His lecture was about how I shouldn't gain too much! Here's the kicker - he didn't reference the health of me or my baby in his warning. He only said that I'd have a harder time losing it. It was all about aesthetics.

In case there was any question, I chose to listen to the nurse. But the assholey doctor was right.

In a few days, my little one will be seven months old already. The baby weight that was supposed to just magically disappear through breastfeeding and pushing a stroller through the neighbourhood has remained firmly in place. Not that I'm not to blame! I think the people who promised me it would be easy thoroughly underestimated my commitment to croissant sampling and fatigue-induced carb binges. There was also that succession of chocolate-eating holidays (Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter) that fell during the earliest and most challenging (so far!) days.

But now I'm ready to pay attention to the scale once again. If only so I can stop wearing those same maternity jeans that I first bought. Other non-scale goals include:

- Wearing my wedding rings again (I'm so close! And I miss them.)
- Getting some professional shots of the family (Not so keen on full-length photos of myself at the moment.)
- Wearing all those other clothes in my wardrobe (They will seem like new again after all this time!)

Most importantly, I want to be a strong, healthy example for my daughter. And that means NOT having breakfast dessert. (Yes, you read that right.)

I'm going to use this space to work toward my goal, much like I used it originally to pay off my debt! Starting tomorrow, I'm going to weigh myself and post the number. (Gah!) Then I'm going to follow trusty old Weight Watchers, meaning I'll post how many points I have each day and how many I use. You guys will be my community, because I can't bring myself to go back to WW meetings. When you've done the program a couple of times, which I have, you cannot sit through the same lesson on how to order at a restaurant or deal with saboteurs. You just can't.

I've been thinking about doing this for a while, but have felt weird about being open and vulnerable about this online. But I need some support. And you guys were SO instrumental in helping me with my debt! Therefore... here we go...

The Simple Pleasures

2011-06-23T10:23:00.004-04:00

Children seem to require a lot of stuff.

Many people would disagree and certainly millions of children around the world are raised without all the North American trappings, but ask any parent who has received even 15 minutes of relief from a vibrating chair/swing/wrap/sling/playmat/pack 'n play/Bumbo/Jolly Jumper/[insert ridiculous sounding, but necessary item here] and I feel fairly certain that they'll say it was worth it.

That being said, on a recent trip to the toy store* we ignored the flashier options and managed to spend only $1.99 plus tax.

On a simple rubber ball.

She loves it! It's just the right size and weight for her to hold on to.

Is this a lesson her parents can hang on to?

*Confession! At a different toy store a few days earlier, we spent close to $30 on an awesome lion puppet, because it made her smile. We are suckers for that shark-toothed smile. Hopefully she never figures that out...

Tee hee

2011-06-11T19:38:00.002-04:00

We got a really good laugh out of our little Viver tonight. We work SO hard to get this kid to giggle, but tonight the wee giggles turned into a throaty joyful laugh. The Husband said it actually made him tear up a bit.

She's a happy girl, so we must be doing something right.

Half-birthday

2011-06-09T10:41:00.004-04:00

Last summer, as I was trying to rock my baby bump in record high temperatures, we started looking for daycare for our unborn child.

Seriously. For January 2012.

It was the weirdest thing, although necessary in this city, to try to choose people to look after my kid when I didn't even know who he or she was. Hell, I didn't even know how to look after him or her yet!!

But today SHE is six months old. Already. Her first half-birthday. And I think I know her pretty well:

- She rarely wakes up crying and is super happy to see us first thing in the morning. When I sit down beside her crib and look in at her, the smile she rewards me with is incredible. It makes the fact that it's 6 A.M. a teeny bit more bearable.

- She loves her change pad! Not sure if it's the poppies on the wall beside it or the black and white art pictures above it, but she's always smiley and kicky when we put her down to change her diaper.

- She's already talkative, despite the fact that she doesn't have any words yet. She enjoys talking through her stories, at the movies and if no one is paying attention to her. She'll also have babble conversations with us. Her new favourite sound involves a gurgling noise in her throat that is nearly impossible to imitate.

- If reincarnation exists, she was a serious foodie in her past life and can't wait to get past all these mushy, pureed meals. She hasn't given us any problems with any of the food we've offered her, but she shows little to no delight in the process of eating. She just wants us to keep shoveling it in while she stares longingly at every bite we put in our own mouths.

- She loves music! I can distract her from crying if I sing to her and she takes great delight if we sing and dance around like idiots for her. I'm looking forward to her joining us before too long.

- This kid needs her naps. She's cranky without them. So every two hours, almost like clockwork, she shows us the signs and we hustle to put her to bed.

- So far, she's really enjoying storytime. I'm crossing my fingers that our love of books will be passed on to her.

- Don't cuddle this kid too long! She's independent and would rather lay on her own than sit on your lap. But she still wants us to play with her and adores zerberts and airplane rides.

- A dirty diaper doesn't bother her one bit, so we need to keep checking for any... events. (Although now we can smell them much better now that solid food is involved!)

- Motion of any sort puts her right out, so car trips and walks in the stroller are a breeze.

- She's super bendy. Like, she arches her back and almost touches her head to her bum. We're thinking of selling her to the circus if she steps out of line.

- One of her many nicknames is Sock Houdini, because she will get at least one sock off within seconds of us putting it on. Thank goodness it's summer, so she can just go barefoot for a while.

- Jolly Jumper = Happy Vivi

Page turning

2011-06-08T16:02:00.006-04:00

So, I haven't had much time to read lately.* Shocking, I know! Truth is, most of my reading in the last couple of years has taken place on public transit. And I can count the number of times I've been a guest on the TTC in the past six months on one hand.

(I also have a backlog of roughly 100 magazines to work my way through. Damn magazine obsession!)

I did, however, get a book I requested for Mother's Day — Tina Fey's Bossypants.

I'll admit. I have totally drunk the Tina Fey Kool-Aid. I can't get enough of this smart, funny woman. I want to be her friend, so she can come around for dinner and we can drink just a bit too much wine and have extra pieces of cake and laugh so hard that tea comes out of our noses.

(I also want to sneak up behind her, cut off a lock of her hair, and find some mad scientist who can use the follicles to create a potion that will make me just a tiny bit more like her. Is that so wrong?)

The book was light, amusing and just what I needed. It was also an easy-to-hold-open hardcover, had large-ish font and generous leading, which made it easy to read while nursing. (Well, easy if I didn't mind cranking my head over to one side for 20 minute intervals.) Finishing it felt satisfying, but left me wanting more.

Then, after watching a movie trailer for a new Anne Hathaway film, I was intrigued enough to look up the book the movie is based upon.

And it looked good.

So when I needed to fill out an Amazon order, so I could get free shipping (Damn those evil geniuses!), I picked it up.

It sat on my bedside table, taunting me, for about two weeks. You see, it's a trade paperback with much smaller text and tighter leading, so I could not balance breastfeeding and reading with this one.

Ah, but then we took a trip up north this past weekend. Three hours in the car where the littlest member of the family sleeps like an angel. Uninterrupted reading time! I even brought a flashlight along, so I could read when the sun went down. Then I snuck in some more reading during her naps over the weekend and read most of the way home, too. Add a few more stolen moments this week and I have completely devoured this book.

Don't you LOVE books like that!?! Books that grab you from the first page and make you have to keep reading? Books that have you very close to tears at the end, even though you're sitting in your dentist's office, waiting to get a filling. The writing was engaging and the premise was interesting and the characters weren't caricatures.

In short, I really liked it. I would totally recommend it, especially if you need to take a long plane ride and require entertainment, or something like that. I'm hoping that Hollywood doesn't fuck it up too much.

*A few exceptions: Oh My Oh My Oh Dinosaurs!, In the Garden with Van Gogh and I Am A Bunny.

Say cheese!

2011-05-18T19:23:00.003-04:00

What better way to pass the last half hour before bath, books and bedtime than an impromptu photoshoot?

The one nearly impossible task these days is capturing a smile directly, since Vivi gets serious at the first sight of the camera. But everyone once in a while...

The Duke and Duchess

2011-05-02T17:15:00.002-04:00

I know I'm a few days late and a couple of other...ahem... weighty news items have taken over, but let's talk about the royal wedding.

The Husband and I set the alarm to get up at 5 A.M., so we could watch history being made.

(Can I just interject that it's crazy for people with a baby to get up when the baby is still sleeping. I suffered mightily later for that decision, when Vivi decided that she wasn't so into napping that day.)

Yes, it was lovely. All pomp and circumstancey. Very royal, although still seeming like they really wanted to be there. And the one little petulant bridesmaid added just the right touch of reality.

Still, I can't help but hope that a few days before the spectacle, there was a tiny, private ceremony with just a handful of friends and family. That Kate got to walk down the aisle to her favourite cheesy song and Pippa didn't steal any of her thunder, because she was just wearing something off the rack from Top Shop. That Will and Kate read each other vows that they wrote about little inside jokes only they know. That they held hands and looked into each other's eyes when they said, "I do." That they sealed the deal with a big 'ol smooch rather than a couple of terse, public kisses. That Will fist-pumped the air and whooped for joy while Kate laughed.

Something just for them. Before they had to put on a show for the rest of the world.

But maybe that's just me.

She could have worn the same dress, though. That was beautiful!!

Sing out, Louise!

2011-04-26T21:18:00.002-04:00

I totally joined glee club.

Except that's not what it's called at all. And we haven't sung any Journey, yet. Plus, no one has tossed a slushie in my face.

That is, however, what the Husband calls it. And how I've come to think of it.

Remember when I joined a choir a couple of years ago? And how much I enjoyed singing again? Well, that only lasted one season, because I found the choir director condescending and disrespectful. Especially considering that we were paying to be there! Alas, I pushed singing to the back burner once again and went on with my life.

(Insert getting engaged, planning a wedding, getting married, getting pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, here.)

Since Vivi was born, I've been singing all the time! Little songs that the Husband and I make up, children's songs that I remember, lullabies... I was reminded how much I enjoy it.

So I looked up a program that I had seen online a couple of years ago at the Avenue Road Arts School , which is conveniently close to me. It's simply called Broadway Showtunes and is a group of adults (20-25 or so) belting out Broadway hits together, led by a charming gentleman and accompanied by a major player in Toronto's musical landscape.

Guys, it's SO MUCH FUN!

The group is wildly diverse, ranging in age from about 24 to 70+. Many of them have been doing it for close to 20 years. They don't even all read music, nor do they have to, because there are lyric sheets (hundreds of them!) rather than sheet music. It's not about getting things perfect or planning for a show. It's just singing for the love of it. Which is exactly what I was looking for.

It's so good for me to have a scheduled time away from Violet, too. A much-needed break to recharge and feed my own soul, so I can bring more energy back to her.

When I started, I had no intention of advertising my training or experience. The cat, however, is out of the bag. And they could not be more complimentary or adoring. I wasn't looking for an ego-boost, but I'll take it!

Looking back at that old choir post, it's funny that I was worried about Andrew Lloyd Webber medleys. That's pretty much what I've signed up for! But it's so much better than I could have imagined.

134 days

2011-04-21T20:43:00.003-04:00

Violet is 19 weeks old today. I started out knowing nothing. Here are just a few of the lessons I've learned in those 134 days:

- The infant phase, where they sleep in your arms for hours, is so short. It's hard not to spend that little bit of time wishing they would smile or play or do something. Now I worry that I didn't appreciate it quite enough.

- Birth is unbelievably hard on your body. I spent all sorts of time reading about labour and worrying how that would go. That part was not hard for me. (Don't hate me.) But the three weeks after that were brutal. Nobody told me. And it didn't occur to me how painful it would be for my uterus, which had expanded to a thousand times its normal size, to contract back. Those afterpains were worse than contractions for me. And they lasted, like, a week.

- When I made it an event, getting up with her in the middle of the night wasn't so bad at all. For the first couple of weeks, I tried to feed her in bed. That wasn't very comfortable, we woke the Husband up and I would get impatient for her to finish eating, because I couldn't think of any other fun things to look up on my Blackberry. When I started taking her downstairs, where I had laid out a healthy(ish) snack for myself, a glass of water, and had some TV on DVD to entertain me, it was much more palatable. Plus, it was kind of nice to feel like she and I were the only two people awake in the world.

- I am not always good at asking for help. My amazing friends, family and husband know that and never wait for me to ask.

- Watching someone learn is incredible. I never had any desire to be a teacher, but now I throw a parade when Vivi reaches up to bat at a toy or grabs her spoon while I'm feeding her. I am incredibly excited about the millions of milestones still ahead.

-Sleep deprivation is as hard as everyone says it is. What was even worse for me was the anxiety of not knowing how long I would have to sleep. So I would lie there awake, too worried about how little sleep I would get, to actually get any sleep. That was bad. Now Vivi sleeps through the night and I appreciate every single moment.

- I consider myself a well-organized person, but I have had to up my game in order to ever get out of the house with her in tow.

- A year of maternity leave is an incredible luxury and makes me love being a Canadian even more than I already did. However, my grand plans of what to do with my "time off" have had to be altered. After I've fed her, changed her, played with her, coerced her to nap, done a load of laundry, made some meals, fed her, changed her, played with her, gone for a walk while she naps, bathed her, read to her, fed her, changed her, sung to her, put her to bed, I'm done. And so is the day.

- I want her to be happy, healthy and feel loved more than anything else in the whole world.

- And time really does go so, so fast.

A little bit of me and a whole lot of you

2011-04-15T21:12:00.003-04:00

Before Vivi was born, we would spend a lot of time ruminating on how our genes would combine. Would she have the Husband's blue eyes? My perfect lips*? His long legs? My squared-off toes? Now that she's growing into herself**, everyone wants to weigh in on who she more closely resembles.

I thought I'd post some baby photos of each of us, so the blogosphere could weigh-in. Me first:

(Could my brother be any cuter? And my dad was soooo skinny!)

And here's the Husband in his younger years:

I have to say, I think the Husband wins. Hands down. Luckily I think he's damn cute.

*In 1997 a makeup artist told me my lips were perfect. I chose to believe her.

**It's totally true that parents think their baby is the cutest one, regardless of whether or not that is true. We never thought Vivi had that alien-esque newborn look. However, looking back at pictures now, she was pretty squishy and weird looking. In the BEST possible way.

One word

2011-04-09T21:33:00.000-04:00

Bumbo!

Rice cereal

2011-04-06T20:31:00.002-04:00

She's growing up so fast!

And, not surprisingly, she seems to really love eating. She is, after all, our child.

Daphne Sutherland, 1995-2011

2011-03-31T10:10:00.010-04:00

She was a Christmas present from my college boyfriend. And while there were many times that I questioned the wisdom of giving a starving student studying to be a nomadic starving actor a small animal that would require money to maintain, I will forever be grateful for the gift of Daphne.

When it came time to choose a cat from the adoption agency, I had my heart set on an orange feline, in remembrance of a former family pet. But there were no orange kitties to be had. The agency representative said they did have a particularly special cat available. Just six months old and incredibly affectionate with a unique personality. We agreed to have them come do a home visit, so we could meet her. Her name was Misty and she was just as they described.

It was love at first purr.

The first order of business: Change her name! I had never before had exclusive naming rights to a living thing. But this long haired kitty, black with white markings, reminded me of the cat Pepé Le Pew tries to romance in the old Warner Brothers cartoons. And I mistakenly believed that cat's name to be Daphne.

(Turns out, it's not!)

Still, Daphne seemed like an elegant name for a feline that appeared to be wearing a white fur stole around her neck. So Daphne she became, despite the efforts of one of my roommates at the time, who thought Boo would be a better moniker.

Her first nickname came along pretty quickly, after a bout of loose stool that got stuck in the hair of her tail and was subsequently transferred to every wall in the apartment as she flicked said tail around: Shitty Kitty.

Subsequent nicknames evolved as time progressed and we discovered that "elegant' was in no way the proper word to describe Daph. So she became Schmaffie, The Schmaf, Schmatty, Schmaffers, etc. Much more fitting.

As a kitten she was quite playful, although had little interest in toys purchased at a pet shop. Her favourites included balled up pieces of paper, which she would pick up in her mouth and bring back to you, or a laser pointer. Laziness set in later in her life, when a bit of half-hearted ribbon chasing was the best she could muster.

She showed an early predilection for boxes of all sorts, which later inspired me to buy this book for Violet. For the past few years we've had various shoeboxes scattered throughout the house for her. Whenever we brought home new shoes, we would place the new box next to an old one and watch her try them both out and figure out which one she preferred. (Always the new one, eventually.)

She was known for lying flat on her belly, with her legs turned out behind her, or sprawled out on her back, fuzzy belly bared for the whole world to see. She also loved to prop herself up against pillows like a human being, never quite understanding why we laughed and took pictures every time. She even enjoyed some Internet celebrity when she made an appearance on this website's popular "Pets on Furniture" feature.

She was well loved by the original crew that helped me welcome her into my world and by my two amazing roommates I lived with for eight years. The Husband was initially intimidated by her - she was known to be a bit crusty and could definitely take a chunk out of you if she was so inclined - but they warmed up to each other and became the best of friends. Even my Mother-in-Law adored her. We regularly brought her with us on trips to Owen Sound. She enjoyed the ride, provided she could sit on on of our laps, and seemed to like having a different space to roam around in for a few days.

I was 20 when I adopted her. She saw me through the end of theatre school, my entire theatre career (including a couple of plane rides to spend the summer at the Charlottetown Festival with me), a few relationships, another round of schooling, the start of a new career, a few apartments (including keeping me company in a bachelor), a marriage, a house and a baby. For almost 16 years, she was the one constant in my life.

I loved her. So much.

Still do.

I will miss her. So much.

This too shall pass

2011-03-23T19:26:00.004-04:00

We seem to have entered a new phase with Vivi. One that isn't exactly enjoyable.

She no longer wants to go to sleep.

Not that she doesn't sleep, thank goodness. She's just having major issues getting to sleep. Last night it took three hours and at least 10 failed attempts to get her down. She'll fall asleep while nursing and stay asleep as we carry her upstairs, but just try and put her down! Forget it!

We rock her, sing to her, let her pacify herself on me. If only she would take an actual pacifier! We've tried four different kinds dozens of times. At all different times of the day. She makes this face like we're giving her tree bark to suck on. And then she spits it out.

And now her getting to sleep issues have extended to nap time.

This morning she screamed for almost two hours straight, clearly exhausted. Even worse was that none of the normal soothing methods would work. She wouldn't even take the boob! And she'll always take the boob! Finally we bundled her up into the car seat, because I had every intention to drive her around to stop the crying, despite the raging snowstorm outside. While I was cleaning off the car, the Husband swung her back and forth in the seat and she suddenly gave up the fight and succumbed to slumber.

What did we do, you ask?

What any smart parent would do. We let her sleep in her car seat for about an hour and a half. There was no way we were going to move her!

Clearly this is our new normal. I'm trying to remind myself that these phases can't last forever...

If you have any thoughts or ideas, feel free to share them!

(Typed entirely with one hand while nursing!)

Almost great weekend

2011-03-21T10:49:00.004-04:00

I spent the last week suffering with a nasty spring cold. Runny nose, runny eyes, sore throat, lots of congestion. All around blech. But by Friday I was starting to feel like myself again. So we got in some family fun time!

First, a trip to Canada Blooms.

Vivi acts like her car seat is a torture chamber, so until the car lulls her to sleep, this is as happy as she looks.

She was much more content to look around at all the action.

Until she wasn't. (These lovely girls were promoting a new Cirque du Soleil show.)

Daddy and his Violet with more violets!

I was so exhausted by the end of the evening, particularly since my symptoms would always worsen when the sun went down!

Saturday we ventured north of the city to see my surrogate Toronto family.

Vivi was a little doll for them, thank goodness!

And Sunday we took a family walk to do some brunching:

All in all, a nearly perfect weekend. Why not perfect? Well, I had to miss a dear friend's birthday party, because the Husband already had plans that included the car. (Stroller + transit = logistical nightmare!) Plus we ended the weekend with a screaming baby who was suffering from gas. Hours of screaming only fixed if I nursed her to sleep and then held her the entire time.

She's still wearing cranky pants today, refusing to nap despite her obvious exhaustion. I've typed this entire post with one hand while nursing her into submission!

Come ON!

2011-03-18T15:58:00.001-04:00

Can you believe I get to cuddle this cute thing every day!?

Nine lives

2011-03-15T21:51:00.002-04:00

This past weekend it didn't look like I'd have good news to share, but I'm very happy to report that Daphne is doing okay.

For the moment.

I recognize that her condition doesn't have a happy ending, but for now she's eating and keeping it down. She's pestering us for cuddles and generally acting like nothing is wrong.

We'll take it, knowing that we can't hold off our goodbyes forever.

Thanks to all of you who reached out and sent love and good thoughts. So appreciated!

Schmaf

2011-03-09T17:26:00.002-05:00

Our kitty is not well.

Once corpulent and voracious, we noticed just over a month ago that she was suddenly far skinnier than she'd ever been. Frankly, she hadn't been getting quite as much attention as she normally got. Our focus was divided on account of the tiny human being we suddenly had hanging around. So each of us thought the other had been feeding her, which explained why her bowl was never empty. (She used to empty that bowl very, very quickly and then pester us until the next meal.) There were also several, ahem, loose bowel movements to contend with.

Off we went to the vet, who confirmed what we already knew: serious weight loss. What we didn't know was why. We wondered if she was having trouble adjusting to the new member of the family? But she'd been incredibly respectful of Vivi since we brought her home from the hospital, never showing any signs of aggression. (And those of you who know her, know she can get her growl on if she doesn't like you.)

The vet kept her overnight and ran all sorts of tests and took some x-rays. Conclusion: healthy, aging cat. The vague beginnings of kidney disease, which is apparently very common, but nothing to be concerned about yet. She suggested switching her diet to a geriatric plan.

Done and done.

And then the vomiting started. At first we chalked it up to some of the new food, so we cut that out right away. But still, every few days we'd find another mess. Our carpet was starting to look patterned. Otherwise, however, she was acting perfectly normal. Jumping up on the couch to cuddle with us. Clamoring for her nighttime treat. Meowing up a storm.

But a month later, we couldn't deny that things weren't getting better. Plus, the diarrhea was back.

So we returned to the vet, who found she'd lost even more weight and reran some tests, to see if the kidney disease had suddenly rapidly progressed. Nope. She armed us with some meds - antacids in case her stomach is upset and something to firm up her stools. We're only a couple of days in, but it's not looking good.

She'll be 15 in May. I've had her since she was six months old. If you're a fan of Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy, she's my demon. But how far do you go?

In the wee small hours

2011-03-04T09:02:00.003-05:00

Violet is a very easy baby.

Except when she isn't.

For quite a while she struggled with really bad - wait for it! - gas. Not bad like she could clear a room. But bad like she had a lot of trouble getting it out. And we all know how it feels to have gas trapped inside us. It's not good. It makes the best of us out of sorts.

So she was wearing her cranky pants pretty much every day, until the blessed moment when she would transform into Princess Thunderbum. (That's Princess Cupcake Bumbleberry Thunderbum to you!) Then the happy baby would emerge and we'd all get along until the next bout hit.

We talked to the doctor about it and she said it was possible that it was something I was eating, but that it was most likely just her immature system trying to catch up. So we waited it out, because some days were better than others and the magical three-month-mark was quickly approaching.

And suddenly, so much better! Which is why I was surprised the other morning when she was clearly in distress after I fed her just before dawn. Normally night feedings are a cinch with her. She goes right back to sleep. But on this morning she was too busy wailing to revisit dreamland.

So I strapped on the Baby Bjorn.

Seriously, the hand-me-down carrier has been a lifesaver for us. It calms her down - and often puts her to sleep - 99% of the time. It also frees up our hands and saves our biceps.

But I was tired. And - I'm not going to lie - I had a moment of annoyance that I had to do more than just feed her, change her and swaddle her before I got to go back to my own warm bed. Until I looked down at this:

Suddenly I realized how lucky I am that I can fix her problems so easily at this point. That there will come a day when I won't be able to fix what ails her just by strapping her to my chest and walking her around the house. And that that day will come along sooner rather than later.

One of my biggest challenges as a mom is to do something I have never been good at. The very thing that made me such a bad actor.

I have to be in the moment.

I can't think about the laundry that isn't getting done because I'm too busy watching her on her play mat. I have to look past the unpacked boxes when I wheel the stroller outside to go for a walk. And when the two of us are up in the middle of the night, I have to remember that these intimate moments together, when it seems like we're the only two people in the world, are fleeting and special and worth a whole lot more than a few extra hours of sleep.

In her own little corner

2011-03-03T15:12:00.004-05:00

We moved into our first home at the end of October, when I was already very pregnant and not really motivated to do anything.

Except maybe bake cookies.

So I could eat them.

But I did experience some of the nesting instinct that they promise will propel you as you head for the finish line. I channelled all of it into the nursery. So, while the rest of our house remains in that sad transition state of having stuff in roughly the right place, but none of the finishing touches added, Vivi's room looks pretty good.

It's hard to tell from the photos, but the walls are a nice soft gray. The animal prints are by Sharon Montrose.

That's the Gryffindor scarf I got at the opening of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter when I was a couple months pregnant.

The change station. (You can tell who was getting a little tired with my photo shoot...) The Husband picked up the picture at the Fan Expo here in town last year. It's called "Grow" and the artist wrote a little message to our unborn child on the back. We had it framed so you can still turn it over and read the note.

The Husband also bought the poppy wall decals, this time as a Valentine's Day present for Vivi. Even though her official moniker is the name of a different flower, when I was pregnant we referred to the baby as Poppy. It came from one of those emails that tell you how big the fetus is. The first one said she was the size of a poppyseed, so Poppy stuck. She loves to look at them when we change her. We need to also add something for her to gaze at on the underside of the shelf. Any suggestions?

Our amazing "Star Wars" figures were a major labour of love by one of our dearest friends and her family. (The friend that was here to take me to the hospital when my water broke and the Husband was out of town!) They're also one-of-a-kind treasures, so we put them up nice and high. Vivi will only be allowed to admire them for many, many years to come.

The shelf that they're on was a gift from the Husband's mom to him several years ago. It's such a perfect little perch for a children's room. And the lovely sentiment on the wall was a gfit from my mom to Vivi when I first announced my pregnancy.

Two more gifts from the Husband's mom. The lamp turns as it warms up and we can watch the geese fly.

Our good friend Nipples the Cat! Also a piggy bank from her auntie on the Husband's side (There's money in there!) and some awesome books for future reading from the great women in my little book club.

And speaking of books...

We've been lucky to receive all sorts of great books for Violet, both new and secondhand. The best part is that she will already sit and look at them with me! I hope this is a sign that she'll love them as much as both the Husband and I do. (Although I'm not sure how many more books our home can hold!)

More wonderful gifts! The cute rubber ducky doubles as a bath water thermometer and the vintage blocks were a thrift store find from a lady with a discerning eye.

Just a few of Violet's growing shoe collection! She is a girl, after all. Funny thing is, I cannot get any of them to actually stay on her feet yet, so she's never worn them out of the house. I don't want to lose one and break up a set!

And every nursery needs a big comfy chair for reading and rocking.

The pillow was a gift I gave the Husband a couple years ago. I'm not sure it will stay in here once we get the office put together, but it works for now. And the adorable little doll is another fantastic gift from a far away friend.

I get the feeling that Vivi likes her little space!

How Violet got her name

2011-03-02T17:11:00.004-05:00

When the husband and I started dating, I brought up the topic of marriage and children pretty quickly. I ignored every bit of dating advice that tells women to dance around such issues for fear they will "scare the guy away" and cut to the chase. Because life is too short to invest time in something that isn't going where you want to go, right? Besides, if he wasn't the guy for me, he would have run for the hills. Instead he stayed. And eventually we got married and now we have a child.

At some point, long before we got married, we started talking about kid's names. Generally it did not go well. We both had strong negative reactions to each other's suggestions. I found his choices too run-of-the-mill and he found mine too out there.

But one day, during a visit with his mom, she told us about one of her aunts. A woman who left the small Ontario town she called home at just 16 years old and made her way alone to Detroit. There she became a dressmaker and eventually ventured out to Los Angeles where she opened a dress shop. She even made a dress for Bette Davis.

She also had a crush on Bing Crosby, who was a big bridge player (who knew?), so she taught herself to play bridge and went on the tournament circuit, hoping to meet him. Sadly, it wasn't to be.

My Mother-in-Law recently told us that her aunt would send home a box of clothes every year, knowing that money was tight. In particular she remembers a white angora sweater and a gold necklace with a leaf pattern, which she wore for a school concert.

And while this aunt married, she never had children of her own, so when she passed away she left money to all of her 13 nieces and nephews. The money my Mother-in-Law received allowed her to buy the land on Georgian Bay where my Husband grew up and where she still lives today.

Her aunt's name was Violet.

From that time on, we always referred to our future child as Violet. And while we discussed other girl's names when I was pregnant, we both knew that it was already a done deal. (If a boy had arrived, we were much less prepared!)

So when they lifted her up so I could see her and said, "It's a girl," I didn't hesitate. "It's Violet!" I said. "Violet is here!" And so she was.

We call her Vivi, since I'm not that crazy about Vi. And her middle name is my last name, since we didn't want to hyphenate, but I wanted her to have a part of me. It all suits her.

I hope she likes it. And I hope she has the adventurous spirit and determination of her namesake.

From the land of mommyhood

2011-01-17T18:35:00.003-05:00

Remember when I used to blog? And bathe regularly? And exercise? And wear clothes that didn't have breast milk/spit-up on them?

Me neither.

I really miss blogging. (Also bathing and having some sort of muscle tone.) And I have grand plans to write a lengthy blog with the story of the Girl's birth. (It ranks right up there with actually finishing unpacking our house and recycling the wine bottles that are sitting on our kitchen floor from the housewarming/baby shower that took place here back in November.) Instead I spend a lot of time feeding and cuddling this:

And when I'm not doing either of those things, I take pictures of her. And then coo over pictures of her, even though the real thing is right beside me.

But soon, I will get my head above water and find time to blog again! In the meantime:

Crib Building 101

2010-11-27T04:17:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, we picked up a crib for the baby-to-be at Ikea. In fact, we found the one we wanted in the As Is section for $40-off, because it had been a floor model. (Don't worry—we bought the mattress brand new!) Late one night, the Husband crossed a milestone off his life list and assembled said crib:

I helped by snapping photos that included another Ikea purchase: Nipples the cat.

Inappropriate name for a stuffed animal meant for a child, you say? Well, agreed*. But what you can't see in these photos is that Ikea manufactured a stuffed cat and added 8 nipples to said cat. Why, pray tell, does a stuffed cat need nipples!?

Nevertheless, Nipples has such personality:

And the Husband did a fantastic job:

Nipples had to rest with Daphne afterwards.

We're getting closer to finishing the nursery decor—just need to hang some shelves and artwork (we purchased some from here). Then I will snap some shots and post a few for all of you!

*We also have an owl named Hooters. Meaning we've possibly already ruined this poor little human being.

Moving and Hallowe'en

2010-11-15T19:59:00.003-05:00

Okay, we're playing blog catch-up here, since there's been amazing amounts of stuff happening in my life of late. Bear with me!

First, we moved. Daphne was clearly worried that we would forget her in the chaos, so she took to sleeping in the Husband's suitcase as a precaution:

But when moving day actually arrived, Schmatty was none too pleased with the arrival of strange people in the apartment, so she cowered in the closet for most of the day:

For us, moving day dawned with a feeling of excitement in the air. We were finally moving into our house!

This excitement ended around the time the movers were officially late (they finally came an hour past their scheduled arrival, which was enough to drive the pregnant, type-A Virgo planner in me completely around the bend ) but reappeared hours later when everything was finally in the new place. And we'd had proper food.

Much of the following week looked just like this picture: the belly and the boxes:

(Unfortunately for the Husband, the belly meant he was the one to move the boxes from room to room to room as we tried to make sense of our living space.)

Daphne tried to make sense of her new surroundings and discovered the best place to keep an eye on both of us is generally the landing going down the stairs:

Two days after we moved in, our first house guest arrived fresh from Montreal, with her own kitty, to take up residence in our basement for a while. It's been awesome having her here! And she made it in time for Hallowe'en.

Okay, we'd only been in the house for about four days when the big night arrived, so there were no costumes. The Husband did manage to carve a pumpkin and we stocked up on a ton of candy, thinking there'd be a steady stream of kids all evening long.

Alas, we counted about 60 kids in total. Plus three moms that had their own bags for candy...

Belly shot update!

2010-11-11T20:38:00.002-05:00

Okay, it's been busy and there's lots to blog about, but my to-do list keeps getting longer! However, here's some more belly shots:

Week 30

Week 31

Week 32

I have to admit, I'm done with the pregnancy part. My back and hips are sore all the time. Thank goodness for Tylenol! I can only seem to sleep in one-hour increments before I have to get up and pee or try to shift to a slightly less uncomfortable position in bed. Leaning over in any way is almost impossible. I'm short-of-breath all the time. Oh, and the skin on the top of my belly gets so sensitive it's crazy painful!

I'm getting anxious to meet the little person that's rolling around inside me.

Okay, stay tuned for more posts soon. Lots more to share!

Weeks 27 and 28

2010-10-08T22:07:00.002-04:00

Lots to be thankful for this Thanksgiving weekend, including a baby that is squirming all over the place in my ever-growing belly.

Week 27:

And week 28:

A full seven months pregnant now, I am finding it harder and harder to haul this body around. I ran errands for an hour at lunch today and felt like I'd run 10k!

But I'm persevering! Trying to get our apartment packed up in preparation for the big move. (What were we thinking combining two of life's most stressful events?) And sometimes just watching the Husband pack while I sit down and rest.

Other things I'm thankful for: the Husband, our crazy cat, wonderful friends, my super-excited family, a job in this awful economy, the new house, and a beautiful place on the water to spend Thanksgiving weekend.

I am a lucky, lucky girl.

26 Weeks

2010-09-30T20:09:00.002-04:00

Here are last weeks belly shots at 26 weeks:

And here's how you pass the time when you're pregnant:

The cat fits into newborn onesies surprisingly well!

Six months in...

2010-09-17T22:42:00.003-04:00

In order to explain where I'm at mentally 25 weeks into this pregnancy, I feel an anecdote is in order.

Back in my theatre school days, three years of training culminated into an onstage sort of thesis called a Nightclub Critique. (Now that I think about it, that's such a weird name. I have never in my life referred to an establishment as a "nightclub." Dance club, yes. Nightclub, no.) The idea was to put together a little solo show consisting of 3-4 songs, a back-up band, lighting... the whole works. We then had to perform this mini concert for all of the students in the three year program, plus guests and an invited panel of judges - probably close to 200 people. At the end of each act, the performer would have to come out and sit at the front of the theatre and be critiqued by the judges while everyone watched.

Wait! Maybe that's how the whole Idol franchise was created!? I have never thought about that until now.

Anyway, one of the main classes that we took to prepare for this virtuoso moment was called, in my day, pop class. As in pop music. As in the kind of music they play during morning rush hour on the radio.

My fellow classmates were AWESOME at this class. They performed the hits of Sheryl Crow, Alanis Morrisette and Sarah Mclachlan beautifully. (It was the mid-90s.) In fact, I was often brought to tears listening to them, although that may have had something to do with the extreme fatigue and constant self-doubt that comes with the theatre school territory.

My own talents in this genre did not stretch quite so far. No matter what I attempted, including an ill-advised rendition of Bonnie Rait's, "I Can't Make You Love Me," and a still oft-mocked warbling of the tragic torch song "Black Coffee," which I sang with the same gusto and glee that I usually attack any national anthem, I was Julie Andrew trying to be Diana Ross. In a word: awful. And the teacher - very well-liked by many - seemed to give up on me from early days, preferring to concentrate on the budding rock stars surrounding me.

Alas, when it came time for nightclub critique, I was totally excited but also a little lost. So I chose a few innocuous jazz standards and concentrated on the part I knew I could control: My outfit.

I ventured into the big city from the 'burbs and scoured Queen West for exactly the right frock for the occasion, slapping down my mishandled student Mastercard like a pro for a flirty little number made of lime green raw silk that changed colours under the lights. Not being able to locate a pair of silver heels to match, I settled for some strappy black ones and attacked them with a can of silver spray paint. I even splurged on a visit to a nail salon and had a fake set of lengthy fingernails applied. (I cringe now to think of how much I actually paid in interest charges for those talons!) I found the right set of jewellery for a little sparkle and picked up some new nylons and a pair of false eyelashes.

I was totally ready!

The day of the critique arrived and I bustled around the dressing room, making sure I looked absolutely perfect. And then it was my turn and I strode out on to the stage...

My vague, long-buried memories of this event involve me sort of flailing around the huge space, microphone cord trailing behind me. I know I had roped a few of the guys in the class into being in one of the numbers with me, but I don't know if we ever actually rehearsed. I was supposed to have patter, which is the talking between songs part, but I can't recall saying anything. What I really remember is finally being done and coming off stage, only to realize that I had to turn back around and be critiqued in front of everyone. And it was the one time in my life where I very nearly actually ran away from a situation.

Anyway, that's kind of where I'm at about being a parent. I'm feeling really confident that this baby is going to have a cute nursery filled with good books to read and adorable outfits to wear, but I'm still not clear about what exactly I'm supposed to do with him or her once he/she arrives. I'm worried that I might not live up to everyone else around me and wind up looking back at the experience with an uncontrollable grimace of embarrassment and inescapable feelings of inadequacy.

But maybe that's how everyone feels?

Because unlike pop class, you don't get to practice every week beforehand. And maybe as a parent, you get to capitalize on your strengths more and don't have to try so hard to fit into someone else's mould. And you're not dependent on those outside critiques for a passing grade - if your child feels loved, you're good to go.

Fingers crossed! Because I already have a lullaby all picked out: Cyndi Lauper's "True Colours." Let's hope this baby likes pop music.

Week 23:

Week 24:

Week 25:

Buskerfest birthday

2010-08-30T20:45:00.004-04:00

Despite a nagging cough, I met my Best Woman and her adorable offspring at Buskerfest after work on Friday. This was a no-brainer because a) Buskerfest is literally in front of the building I work in, and b) Friday was my Best Woman's birthday!

We all enjoyed a healthy dinner of french fries:

Then the kids tried out the stage before the first busker:

(Don't you LOVE the 80s leggings on this stylish little girl? She picked them out herself during back-to-school shopping. She also got a navy boyfriend blazer with sleeves that roll up to display striped lining. Grade 2 never looked this good back in my day!)

The first performer we saw was a woman who goes by the name of Bendy Em. And truly, that was a well-chosen moniker:

After contorting herself in various ways and creatively using two beefy looking guys from the audience to their full advantage, her final trick was to stuff her wiry little body into a tiny little box:

The second performer was not quite as entertaining, although no less wacky. His ultimate feat was to balance a running lawnmower on his face and then have audience members throw heads of lettuce into the blades:

There HAS to be a better way to make a living!!

Afterwards we saw amazing dragon-type creatures that growled their way through the crowd:

The kids were both fascinated and terrified by them.

Of course we had to have some birthday tarts and brownies, which I picked up at St. Lawrence Market earlier in the day.

We saw a bit of another show as well, but they were less memorable and their sound system kept crashing. All in all, it was a fun summer evening in the city.

Oh, and here's the 22 week picture. (I missed 21 weeks, because the Husband/Photographer was out of town!)

Getting really pregnant now!

2010-08-15T19:59:00.002-04:00

Here's my belly at 20 weeks:

You know that lame Hollywood joke about being just a little bit pregnant? Well, I get it now. On Friday night some invisible scale tipped and I went from feeling like a fully functioning human being with a little bowling ball belly to being capital "p" Pregnant! Suddenly getting up from the couch seemed like a bit of an ordeal and after a simple stroll around our new neighbourhood in the blazing sun, I was nearly done. (I followed that up with a three-hour home inspection that involved a lot of standing. I was knocked out for the rest of the night!)

Also, my deep inny bellybutton has become very shallow. I'm not used to being able to see the bottom!

I am desperately aware that I need to be doing some physical activity beyond just walking around, but life has gotten somewhat insanely busy lately. And it's amazing how quickly a regular fitness routine goes out the window. I can't even figure out when I used to work out! I do have a prenatal dvd here, which I've done once...

I'll figure it out! But now I also need to start packing...

Welcome to our new home!

2010-08-14T20:22:00.013-04:00

What a difference a couple of days makes! On Wednesday morning we saw a house that made us go, "Hmmmm...?" On Thursday evening we put in an offer and got a taste of negotiations. And this afternoon we did a three-hour home inspection, signed on the dotted line and bought ourselves a house.

Somebody pinch me!

After seeing lots of places in the east end of town, where several of our amazing friends live, we are staying in the west end. In the end, it was just the right house! So we are a few blocks south of Eglinton West Station and very close to my Best Woman and her family.

So, without further ado, we introduce our very first home to you:

It is a little bit boxy, but also strong and sturdy. Check out the gorgeous Japanese Maple on the front lawn:

The door was slightly ajar in this foyer shot - there isn't a huge gap at the top when it's closed!

(Did you notice the gorgeous slate on the floor? It goes right down the hallway and through the kitchen.

Living room, which is just to the left when you come in the front door:

Which is open to the dining room:

Which is open to my favourite room of all - the kitchen:

(I have big plans to make lots of yummy things in here!)

Then we turn and go back down the hall and up the stairs:

We have the master bedroom:

What will be the nursery:

And what will be the office:

(This room is actually a decent size, but I am not a very good house photographer!)

Amazingly for an old Toronto home, all of the bedrooms have closets! They aren't big closets by any stretch of the imagination, but they are closets!

Then we have the lovely bathroom, which also has fantastic slate floors:

And it houses the washer and the dryer! (I am doubly ecstatic to have my very own washer and dryer AND to have them on the second floor!! Oh, such grown up dreams!)

Put on your disco shoes for the next part of the tour, because we are heading to the basement, which looks like a set from "That '70s Show."

From a door in the hallway, just past the stairs, but before the kitchen, we come down a few stairs to the side door:

Then there's a right turn and all the way down the funky red stairs with flecks of silver:

To our orange and brown formica-tiled basement with the wood-burning fireplace:

Here's the view the other way, where you can see all the space and the door to the bathroom:

Which is very creatively decorated:

(I didn't take a picture of the shower, but there is a shower in the basement bathroom that ain't pretty, but nor is it scary!)

There are several other rooms in the basement, including the one with the water heater and furnace and stuff, which is under the stairs and then, when you take a hard left at the bottom of the stairs, there's this "kitchen":

(There's even a little table that folds up from the wall on the opposite side from this. Although describing it as a table might be going too far. It's more of a ledge...) And through the kitchen there's another door and a cold room.

Now we go outside, where I've spared you a photo of our private driveway and lovely detached garage with a paved floor, to skip to the backyard, which has lots of potential, but needs a little TLC:

And by TLC, I mean grass. We'll be pulling up these interlocking bricks next spring and laying down some sod for sure!

There are two fantastic parts about the location! The first is that we are DIRECTLY across the street from this beautiful playground:

This should come in extremely handy in the next decade!

And the second is that we are less than a 5-minute walk from Cedarvale park, which is huge fantastic park:

We saw a cricket game in progress:

And the Husband was happy to see the big dog run area for our future canine:

And here we are, the very excited new home owners! (It's too bad they haven't slapped the "sold" sign on it yet!)

I heart movie trailers

2010-08-13T21:43:00.002-04:00

Can we talk about how...well... lovely this movie looks?

Movie trailers are so full of promise. They are one of my favourite things about going to a movie (I would never miss the trailers) and I'm so very glad that the world has evolved to the point that I can watch them whenever I want, in the comfort of my own home, without having to buy overpriced snacks.

One of my secret dream jobs is to be the person that gets to edit movie trailers together. Despite my lack of film experience, I can't help but think that the basics of good editing would translate from the page to the screen. Mmmm... third career maybe? As long as I don't have to live in LA!

20 week scan

2010-08-09T21:09:00.003-04:00

It was the fastest 45 minutes of my life and here's the result:

Our little baby has ten fingers, ten toes and was apparently a little bored by all the attention, because he/she yawned for us. Twice.

The tiny little vertebra took my breath away, but what really got to me - what made me shed a little tear - was the heart. We could clearly see the four little chambers all working hard and beating like a champion. I couldn't help but think that this is the little heart that is going to love us first, but it's also the heart that we won't always be able to protect.

After I wiped all the gel off my belly (although I found a little hiding in my belly button tonight), we had to sit around for a half hour waiting for the doctor to look at the scans. But it was worth it when they handed us a sheet covered with my favourite new word: Normal.

Who knew how good that word could be!? (Although, to be honest, I was hoping for at least one "fantastic" or even a "really good." I mean, the baby's femurs looked excellent to us! And the humerus - top notch!!)

I won't know more until my follow up appointment on Thursday, but for now we are ecstatic.

Hanging with the girls

2010-08-08T21:19:00.002-04:00

Such a lovely lunch date today, with a fantastic group of women and two adorable little girls with personality plus. Here's a few pics:

At one point they even held hands!! But I had the old camera and it takes FOREVER to reset itself between shots, so I missed some magic moments. You know, my birthday is just a month away now and I'm thinking it's time to add a digital SLR to this family. Because there will be roughly a million pictures to take in the next couple of years! Particularly of the person in this next shot that isn't exactly recognizable just yet:

PS. People who design maternity clothes have an absolute obsession with horizontal stripes!

Busybusybusybusybusy

2010-08-04T21:10:00.002-04:00

Okay, SO much going on in my life right now! In addition to a constantly overflowing (and still growing) inbox at work (along with all my colleagues), we almost bought a house this week. Twice.

We thought we'd found the place on Friday morning before heading out of town for the weekend. We told our agent and called our mortgage broker. Then we had a few days to think about it. And worry about it. And I woke up in the wee hours of Sunday morning and was unbelievably stressed. I had to wake up the Husband and talk to him about it and then I still laid awake until dawn.

So instead of putting in an offer last night, which had been the plan, we went to see another house. It was charming, in an amazing location, but teeny tiny with no parking. Then we went back to the other house. And we saw all the potential again. We told the agent (a different one, since ours is on vacation this week) that we'd put in an offer today.

I didn't sleep very much last night, either, but out of excitement this time. I mean, buying a first home is super exciting!!

This morning in our email, there was another house. A good looking one, closer to a more desirable area of the neighbourhood. We emailed the agent and asked if we could see that one first, before we put in an offer on the other. She set it up and we met at the new house this afternoon.

I really like it. The husband - not so much. Although we could both see the benefits of this one over the other one, his gut feeling just wasn't there. BUT the things that I loved about this one - particularly an open concept on the main floor and the proximity to more amenities (which is the whole reason to live in the city) finally convinced me that the OTHER one isn't the one.

So, after many lost hours of sleep and some serious stress, the search continues...

After all, we have to find a first home for the ever growing kiddie. This is last week's 18 weeks shot:

Here we go

2010-07-26T21:03:00.003-04:00

I realized something today: I am totally at the bottom of the mountain.

What the hell am I talking about? Well, whenever there's some task that seems huge and impossible in front of me, I get this feeling like I'm standing at the bottom of a mountain, just looking up. Helpless. Totally at a loss as to how I'm ever going to be able to scale it. And right now, there's the house hunt, the start of a new issue of the magazine and the pregnancy. (Yes, I'm about halfway through and still feel like I'm at the bottom of the mountain, mostly because I'm so completely unfamiliar with everything that's still to come.) All of that work and effort and stress is just waiting there in front of me.

I think that's why I'm feeling very protective of my downtime right now. Why I spent a good chunk of the weekend hibernating at home with the cat, napping and hanging on to my precious energy stores.

But it's okay. Because the very fact that I recognize that I'm at the bottom is SO much better than not realizing why I'm feeling the pressure. Because logic and experience tell me that if I just keep plugging away, putting one foot in front of the other, nose to the grindstone, I'm going to be halfway up that mountain before I know it. And then the peak will be in view. And the view will be worth it.

Saturday evening musings

2010-07-24T18:36:00.003-04:00

*I've got my iPod on shuffle as I write this post, so I'll fill you in on the random songs that come up as they come up.

"Birth of the Blues" by Sammy Davis Jr.

Having a fantastic rainy Saturday! After a quick hello phone call with the Husband who is away in Huntington Beach, California, for work, I ventured out for brunch. I've really been trying to expand my repertoire of restaurants in this city, so I suggested a little place called Saving Grace on Dundas St. West. It was a little off the beaten track for me, but nowhere TTC couldn't take me!

"Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones

I walked over from Bathurst in the soupy humid morning and was so pleased to see my lovely brunch companion already waiting for me, even though I was ten minutes early. (Can I just say - I heart people who are early and/or on time. I SO appreciate punctuality!!) As I'd suspected from some online reviews, we had to wait about 15 minutes to get a table in the teeny restaurant, but we were busy catching up so it was all good.

"How Insensitive" by my old friend Leah State!

What I neglected to consider on this incredibly humid morning was that the charming little neighbourhood spot would have neither air conditioning nor a cross-breeze once we were seated! Plus, you know, there was a KITCHEN going full tilt a few feet away. So it was hot. But the food was completely delicious. Oh, the beverages, too! I had blueberry lemonade and my companion had fresh lime soda water that came with a little pitcher of sugar water, so she could sweeten it as much or as little as she wanted. Nice!

"River" by Joni Mitchell (My iPod is feeling low-key, apparently)

Anyway, lovely meal and a stroll through Trinity Bellwoods Park led to some browsing along Queen Street where we stopped in to say hello to a fellow classmate and friend at her place of employment. But it was just so humid that I was happy to come home and park myself in front of the air conditioner for a while.

(Air conditioner installation = a really, really, really good idea!)

Been lazing around since then. Watched two episodes of Friday Night Lights, which is my current television obsession.

"Hlohonolfatsa" by Soweto Gospel Choir

Also had a big old nap, because I felt like it and had nothing so pressing as to get in the way of just going for it. Isn't there something so awesome about being able to give over to fatigue in the middle of the day? Like, most of the time that the feeling hits us, we have to quash it because we're working or something needs to get done, but sometimes you can just enjoy it. Which I did!

"Hard to Say Goodbye" from the musical "Violet"

Other stuff I wanted to catch you up on! We saw five more houses early last week, bringing out total up to 13. Loved about 80% of one of the, including an amazing kitchen and backyard, but the location totally sucked. Not within walking distance to any city conveniences, on an undesirable street and right off a very busy main street. Sigh!

"Closer" by Only By the Night (This is one of those mysterious songs. I don't know what it is or where it came from... Skipping now.
"No More" from "Into the Woods"

I also realized that the house and location are going to have to be pretty terrific in order for me to want to leave our neighbourhood here. I love where we live. I don't love living on the top floor of an apartment building in an apartment that's already a bit small for us, but I love being so close to the subway and the Beltline trail and the whole area. I love being able to walk to three grocery stores and a movie theatre and all sorts of great shops. It's going to be a big transition to leave.

On a more fun note, I went to see some musical theatre this week with a friend that was there every step of the way during my musical theatre years. We saw "Legally Blonde: The Musical."

"Keep Holding On" by the Glee cast

It wasn't a show I ever thought I'd want to pay to see, because I have a chip on my shoulder about musicals based on movies. But we got a really great deal on the tickets, so I thought, why not? I'm so glad we went! I happen to be a fan of the movie, I'm not going to lie. And the show was just as frothy and fun as the movie, with a few genuine laughs and some awesome talent. One actress, the one that plays Brooke Wyndham, belted out an amazing number WHILE JUMPING ROPE THE ENTIRE TIME! Seriously. When I was seeing the personal trainer, I dreaded the few minutes of jumping rope that she would have me do, because it was so hard. And this chick was breezing through it AND singing. Amazing.

"Someone to Watch Over Me" by Frank Sinatra

That's pretty much it over here. Except, of course, the 17 week belly shot:

Also, I SWEAR I have some music on my iPod that would actually be considered current, but apparently it doesn't feel like playing any of it right now!

The joys and worries of week 16, plus roomies and roadtrips

2010-07-18T10:47:00.004-04:00

Introducing, the week 16 official belly shot:

For the most part, I am really enjoying being pregnant now. I love sticking my little (but getting bigger) belly out, especially after I've eaten a big lunch. When else in life do you get to flaunt a bit of a bloat? Now that the Baby can hear stuff, both the Husband and I have started talking to it, which is like a dry run at parenting. This morning the Husband actually tried some discipline when I explained that the baby wanted pancakes! He won, but only because we didn't have any syrup in the house. (Note to self: buy syrup.)

But the hormones. Oh but they get ya! For example, this was an actual conversation today:

Husband: "What's the matter?"
Me: "My hair is making me cry!"

Seriously.

Also, I'm not even quite halfway through the gestation part of being a mom and there is already so much stuff to worry about. We need to figure out if we're going to hire a doula. Then we need to find time to meet some and choose one. There are some prenatal classes that we need to book, but with the Husband's work schedule being completely unpredictable and involving so much time away from home, how do we plan in advance? And the biggest concern for this being who is only the size of an avocado thus far: Daycare!

Sigh. All of my very smart friends who have children in this city keep stressing to me that we need to get on some daycare lists NOW if we want our little one to have somewhere to go when I go back to work in January 2012. So even though I don't know this child of mine - whether it's a boy or girl, what it likes, what it doesn't like - I need to choose the strangers to hand it over to when it's a year old. Oh, and then there's the fact that we have no idea where we'll be living in January 2012! So my laid-back attitude around finding a house is slowly eroding into, "WE NEED TO FIND A HOUSE!"

Don't worry. I'll make it. Deep breaths. (Don't want to flood the baby in my stress hormones!)

On a lighter note, I had a fantastic day yesterday. One of my college roomies and I took a road trip to Welland to visit the third roomie of our trio in her gorgeous new house. It should have taken about an hour and a half to get there, but between crazy traffic, three bouts of the kind of insane rain where you can't really see the road, one hailstorm (!!!), and a few little lost moments, we made it in just under four. Luckily that still gave us time to get in a great visit and enjoy a beautiful summer's evening in her newly acquired backyard gazebo and comfy lawn furniture. And, as always, we snapped a pic to remember it by:

The last of the San Francisco, finally!

2010-07-16T18:41:00.005-04:00

Get this - I am home, enjoying the gentle roar of the air conditioner, with nothing to do. Did you catch that last part? NOTHING TO DO!

Of course, that's not really true. There are always things to do, because the dishwasher won't unload itself. But nothing absolutely pressing that must be done right at this very moment. Meaning I can hang out for a bit, which I really feel like I need.

It also means I can finally upload a few last pics of San Francisco! These are from my day of neighbourhood tours. Meaning the day that I walked WAY too much. They are also mostly about real estate envy.

This first one was in my guidebook and it did not disappoint:

What did disappoint was the fact that there are tours through this amazing house, but I was there on the wrong day! Oh to almost be able to actually look inside one of these fantastic structures only to be thwarted at the last minute! Sigh. Moving on.

Okay, this is not a good photo (I didn't have the good camera that morning), but my guidebook informed me that this is where romance novelist Danielle Steel lives:

Not too bad, right? She must be selling at least a few books. (Oh, something else I could be doing: Writing bestselling novels to help aid in our house hunt!!)

Speaking of house hunting, here's one for sale:

Mmmmm... wonder if it's in our budget? Maybe if we lived just on the porch!

Can't resist a pretty red door:

Imagine what the room at the top of the turret would be like in this one:

And no wonder I was so tired. Look at how steep these hills are:

However, the reward for climbing these crazy inclines is the view at the top:

And when I needed a little extra reward, I knew where to find it:

Thank you San Francisco! You were so good to me.

Week 15

2010-07-11T21:23:00.002-04:00

This past week just flew by! Wednesday evening we went out for our first round of house hunting where we saw a few truly scary options, a couple okay and one that was sooo close, but with some insurmountable problems that took it out of the running. And then Thursday evening I slept. Seriously. I came home from work and slept for a while. Made and ate dinner and then slept some more. Then managed to watch about 45 minutes of TV before going to sleep for the night. I have no idea whether the heat got to me or if I was still playing catch-up from vacation or if the baby is going through a growth spurt.

Friday night we headed north to see the Husband's mom after work and we just got home now! It was the perfect summer weekend up north. Hot and sunny, but not oppressive. We even waded into Georgian Bay today, which was oh so nice.

More soon, but for now, here's the 15 week belly shot:

Getting it done

2010-07-06T21:45:00.002-04:00

Post-vacation life is always so hectic, isn't it? After a long day of travel to get home on Saturday, including an awful experience at the San Francisco airport (How are airlines going bankrupt when they have NO EMPLOYEES?) and then a day of groceries, laundry and long-ago purchased tickets to see Cirque du Soleil on Sunday, we started out the work week totally exhausted! So I feel like I've been playing catch-up the last two days and there's still far to go. But who can accomplish anything in this heat?

Yes, the Toronto heat wave has brought me to my knees. I don't ever remember this kind of stickiness, but maybe the fact that I'm carrying around another human being has something to do with my intolerance.

When we moved into our current apartment more than three years ago, it was supposed to come with air conditioning. When we asked about that, the landlord at the time presented us with a brand new window unit still in its original packaging. Now, I may have mentioned this before, but we are not handy people. After a couple of half-hearted attempts to contact some guy in the building who had helped other people install their units, we just gave up and shoved the box in the back of the coat closet. On hot days we appeased ourselves with these thoughts: At least our view isn't spoiled! and We're being so environmentally friendly and saving money on hydro!

Today, those excuses no longer held any water with me. I needed an air conditioner!!

So two hours later, after much confusion, a YouTube search on "how to install air conditioner window units," one phone call and one Skype call with my friend who knows how to do everything (seriously, she always knows), and the clever re-use of a loose kickboard from one of our dozen Ikea Billy bookcases, ta dah:

It may not be pretty* and the temperature on it may have only gone down by about 5 degrees in the past 2.5 hours, but I can breathe and there isn't a layer of sweat on my skin at all times. So I'm considering this a victory.

I'm also sleeping in the living room tonight!

By the way, I finally downloaded my San Francisco pictures from the other camera. I'll post them later this week, since the next two nights are busy with the beginning of the house hunt!

*Strangely enough, we only had the duct tape because of our bad San Francisco airport experience. That part involved trying to bring bottles of wine home in our luggage on United Airlines. Don't do it.

San Francisco - Day Six

2010-07-02T12:22:00.008-04:00

It's the Husband's birthday today, so rather than rushing up and out into the city, I took my time this morning and spent the couple of hours before he had to go to work hanging out with him. I went down to the French bistro below us (how I will miss it!) and got some yummy breakfast takeout. I also surprised him with a gift I picked up at Chronicle Books the other day. His real gift for this big (he's 40!) birthday is a trip to the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, which we'll take later in the summer/fall, hopefully when there's a launch happening.

Before I set out on my adventures yesterday, we commemorated the 14 week mark of my pregnancy with the first official belly shot:

If it looks a little big for 14 weeks, it's probably at least 20% vacation belly! Seriously, it's time to go home now, so that I don't have the "I'm on vacation" excuse to eat novelty food items. Like fudge. And chocolate croissants.

Anyway, I started my morning back at Pier 39 at Aquarium on the Bay:

The tunnels were really cool. You truly felt like you were underwater:

And then I got to the Touch Pools, where you're allowed to touch! I touched skates:

And a bat ray, which was really friendly:

And a turtle:

I also touched a shark (!!!), but I didn't get a great shot of him. Speaking of sharks... I went back to the shark tunnel for their feeding time, which was cool. Two divers went into the tunnel to feed them:

Post aquarium, I headed to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I'd heard really great things about this place from all sorts of people and it did not disappoint!

Here's a shot of the lobby:

Some art:

Who doesn't like a museum where you get to walk through a curtain of gold beads!?

This piece was really cool. Different words would periodically light up, sending different messages:

The rooftop sculpture garden and café is really lovely:

And this cool trestle bridge, which freaked me out because you could kind of see through it and down six floors!

Since I'd really not slept well the night before, I followed all this up with a three-hour nap and then just wandered around the city a bit in the early evening. I must admit, even though I've had a FANTASTIC time, it suddenly hit me yesterday afternoon that I'm ready to go home now. I want my own kitchen. I want to see Daphne. I'd like to get back to my routine. As much as I adore going on vacation, I also love going home again. So I'm glad that tomorrow is our journey home.

Meanwhile, one last day today! I was hoping I would have lots of energy to tackle a few of the things I'd still really like to do, but I think I'll take it a bit easy instead. Tonight I will get the chance to eat at the restaurant the Husband has been filming at all week, which I'm looking forward to. For now, I'm going to finally hop in the shower and face this day!

San Francisco - Day Five

2010-06-30T23:02:00.010-04:00

Warning: If photos of flowers and/or greenery offend you in any way, just close this page now. Consider yourself warned!

Today I ventured to the west side of the city to Golden Gate Park, which more than lived up to my expectations. In fact, it was an almost perfect day except for one hiccup that I will talk about later AND the fact that the Husband wasn't there. It broke my heart a little that I couldn't share it all with him, because it was SO his kind of thing!

The adventure began with...what else... a trip to the bathroom! Anyone who knows me knows that my bladder is not that reliable at the best of times. Pregnancy has left me searching out public restrooms at every turn. I usually go, like, three times before I leave my hotel room, just to make sure my bladder is empty, and within four blocks I'm looking for my next stop. It's crazy! So thankfully there was a lodge at the foot of the park for me to relieve myself. (I'd already used the Old Navy bathroom on Union Street before getting on the bus. Honestly - best bathroom in town! Clean and never busy!)

Next up was the Conservatory of Flowers:

I actually made audible noises of delight and disbelief as I walked through, because everything was SO beautiful!

My next stop was the carousel. (I know! Another carousel!) It was kind of weird, because it was completely enclosed in a building. And the building was just a little bit bigger than the carousel, so it was like a case for the carousel. The photos really aren't anything special, so I will spare you.

Suddenly I found myself at the Botanical Gardens!

There was SO much to explore and, unfortunately, I was desperate for lunch, so I had to hurry through. All I could think the entire time was that one day I would visit again with the Husband and we'd spend more time seeing it all.

My lunch destination was the café at the DeYoung Museum where I forced myself to have a nice long sit-down and a healthy soup and salad. I was determined not to tire myself out too quickly today, so I tried to sit down whenever possible. Afterwards, I rode to the top of DeYoung's observation tower for more amazing views of the city:

That building across the way with the cool green roof is the California Academy of Sciences. I really want to go! I also want to actually see all the art in the DeYoung (there's an Impressionist exhibit right now), so I may just return to these two locations on Friday... We'll see!

But at the moment I couldn't resist what was waiting for me beside the DeYoung: The Japanese Tea Garden!

Again, I could not keep my reactions to myself! It was breathtaking!! And then this little guy and his partner were hanging out, eating out of people's hands:

At this point, even though I'd only seen the first third of this enormous park, I hopped in a cab to take me to the western edge, because that's where the ocean is! My destination was a place called the Beach Chalet, because my guidebook said it had fantastic views of the water. First of all, thank goodness I didn't try to walk it. That part of my guidebook is a bit condensed, so what didn't look too far away was actually more than 40 blocks! My friendly cab driver took a wrong turn when we hit the water, so we had a lovely drive along the ocean for a while before he could turn around. Oh, and he stopped the meter during that time, which was also nice. We chatted and enjoyed the trip until he finally dropped me off at my destination, which took my breath away because it was literally across the street from THE OCEAN! So I paid the driver (he didn't even charge me as much as the meter said before the wrong turn) and headed into the building where I encountered more beautiful murals and mosaics, both of which have been a theme during this trip. So I reached into my purse for my camera...

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAMERA!? Wait, let me rephrase that. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE HUSBAND'S CAMERA!?!

My heart stopped, tears sprung to my eyes and I immediately had a headache, which is still raging, by the way.

Obviously I'd put the camera down in the cab while paying the driver and forgot to pick it up! Not knowing what to do, I went upstairs to the restaurant where the hostess tried to help me a bit, but I had NO idea what the name of the cab company was, let alone the cab number or driver's name. After about 15 minutes of making a few phone calls (on my cell phone...ouch!) to various cab companies, I was no closer and completely distraught. One of the waitresses tried to assure me that the driver would likely come back once he discovered the camera, but I knew the driver was scheduled to go back to the DeYoung to pick someone else up and take them downtown.

I seriously didn't know what to do. I wanted to send a text to the Husband, because he is who I would normally turn to in moments of distress, but I didn't think it was fair to burden him with this while he was in the middle of shooting! He couldn't help and it would just put him in a panic. So after leaving my name and number with the restaurant, I started to cross the street to the ocean, tears streaming down my face. Suddenly I noticed a cab in front of the restaurant and realized that it was sitting there with passengers in the back, but no driver. Could it be? I went back in the building and who was there but the driver!!!! I almost hugged him!!!! Seriously, he said the people he picked up saw the camera, so he came back to give it to me before taking them on their way.

I can't describe how grateful and relieved I was. I'm sure you can all imagine! All I know is that I've used up my entire cache of good karma and must start stockpiling good deeds now for the next time I do something incredibly stupid.

Thankfully I had the Pacific Ocean to soothe my rattled soul. It was crazy windy and therefore quite cold, but I still took off my socks and shoes and walked along the beach, watching the insane kite surfers (or whatever they're called) risking their lives in the rip tide. I also dipped my toes in:

I wanted to share the feeling with all of you. Here you go:

San Francisco - Day Four

2010-06-29T22:14:00.004-04:00

Let me explain why there's no photo montage today. In our little family, we have two cameras. My camera is an old hand-me-down from my dad many years ago when he was ready to upgrade his. It's a very basic digital point-and-shoot, which seemed amazing when I first got it, because I was still using film! The Husband's camera is roughly a million times better. It's only a couple of years old and has a seriously great zoom lens. It's the camera that really made me fall in love with taking pictures.

Now, the Husband likes to have his camera with him at all times, but has recognized that my daily adventures this week are more exciting than his long shooting days, so I've been happily snapping away with his camera. Until today! His day started with a sojourn to Nappa, so it only made sense that he get to take the good camera. And while I took about a thousand pictures of unbelievable houses today during my tours of Pacific Heights, Cow Hollow and Hayes Valley, I don't have the proper camera cord with me to download most of them! (I got the good camera back at lunch. Yay!) Therefore, you'll have to wait until we return to Canada for the Day Four photo montage.

Two more stories from my day of neighbourhood strolls:

My DAMN guidebook completely messed up my Pacific Heights/Cow Hollow walking tour! The stops on the map were not numbered properly, so when I got to the corner where the "Mrs. Doubtfire" house was supposed to be, for example, I'd actually already passed it by several blocks! Very frustrating. And with so many steep hills, there was no way I was turning around! Still, amazing architecture everywhere! Oh, and Danielle Steel lives in a crazy mansion. I should really consider writing romance novels...

After inadvertently doing WAY too much walking again today, I finally stopped for dinner in a trendy German restaurant on Hayes that was suggested by the guidebook. Now, I have to say that I've done a fantastic job of eating lots of meals sitting alone in restaurants this trip! I was really determined that I wouldn't grab something to eat alone in the hotel room, because eating out is part of what makes a vacation so great. And I've had lots of good meals. Anyway, at this restaurant, they seated me at the head of a table for five alongside a young couple and their adorable three-year-old daughter. They were LOVELY! The daughter's name was Olivia and she was very proud to tell me that she wears underwear. (I'm assuming this means she is potty-trained, which really is something to celebrate!) Unfortunately they had also just finished eating and were settling the bill. So while I had about ten great minutes chatting with them, they left before my food arrived and a group of four women roughly my age took their place. After we exchanged a couple of pleasantries about the menu, they went on with their evening. Only I was sitting right there. It was super strange. In fact, I had to avert my eyes to one side the whole time or I would have been looking right at the woman sitting opposite me. I wanted to join in when they all started comparing stories about their cats, but the fake wall between us was already firmly set. So I ate in silence, as if I was one of them, but not speaking to any of them.

Great day overall! Hoping that I have the energy for Golden Gate Park tomorrow. It's so hard not to run yourself ragged on vacation, isn't it?

Oh, since I don't have pics of my own, here's one that the Husband took this morning. (I was not there when this shot was taken!)

ps. I think I need a digital slr of my very own...

San Francisco - Day Three

2010-06-28T22:21:00.009-04:00

After the alarm on the Husband's Blackberry went off at 4:30 a.m. (set for the other coast), I could NOT get back to sleep! Still a bit jet-lagged and too excited about everything I still have to see in the city, I tossed and turned until 6 a.m. when I finally pulled on some clothes and walked across the street to get some breakfast at Starbucks. But I didn't actually get out to begin my adventure until 8:30 a.m. when the Husband had to meet his crew. I only get to see him for the teeniest bit of time while we're here, so I try to make the most of it. Also, since he has to work and I am in vacation mode, I feel obliged to at least get him some breakfast and iron his shirt for the day!

Anyway, I started off by walking over to Powell Street to catch a cable car!!

I had to wait through a few, since there were plenty of tourists who had the same idea I did. And when there was finally a spot for me, I had to stand on the outside runner! Cool? Yes. Kind of scary, particularly when you're pregnant? YES! I held on for dear life, because they drive quickly up and down the crazy hills and careen around corners. The only concession the driver makes is to tell you to "tuck in" when there's something coming up on your side.

Needless to say, I didn't manage to take any photos during the ride. Instead I enjoyed the fresh breeze and the lovely city passing by. But here's the one I rode after I got off:

And my destination was Lombard Street, which is also known as the crookedest street in the world, even though it's not even the crookedest one in the city! Still it was beautiful and fully landscaped with hydrangeas. Also, people get to live in the gorgeous houses along the street. Sure, it's busy with tourists, but it's still damn nice!

This is the view from the bottom:

From here I took a little stroll and found a charming pubic garden:

Then I started scouting out potential houses to buy in Russian Hill, which seems like a pretty nice neighbourhood! ;-)

Then I hoofed it all the way to the water and walked out to the end of the pier. Check out this view! (See that little tower at the top right of the pic? That's where I was headed!)

After looking around The Cannery, which houses some shops and restaurants, I met my hop-on bus (my ticket was still good) and rode over to the bottom of the Filbert Street steps. This would be the beginning of my climb to the top of Coit Tower!

There were a LOT of steps! But there were also a lot of gorgeous flowers along the way:

And people live in houses along the climb! Crazy houses on the side of a cliff! So there were charming little garden gates and whimsical touches:

Check out this house right at the foot of Telegraph Hill, which is where Coit Tower is located:

And finally, the tower!

The main floor walls are covered with gorgeous murals. Here were just a couple of close-ups I took:

And then, after a disturbingly rickety elevator ride and another flight of stairs, I was treated to breathtaking 360 degree views of the city:

Those are just a couple shots. I took LOTS! I also spent a fair amount of time coveting the rooftop patios of the all the lucky people who live in the houses on the way up. They have seriously amazing views of the bay!

Also, the top of the tower is open to the sky, which was amazing on a gorgeous day like today (I could not be more lucky with the weather!), but probably isn't so fun when it's raining.

After heading back down a different way and taking a lovely walk past Washington Square Park and through Little Italy, I was DONE! So I stopped at this corner Italian restaurant from some gnocchi:

And then checked out this famous Beat era bookstore, where I bought a children's book based in San Francisco for the little being-to-be in my tummy:

Finally, I walked through Chinatown back to the hotel and collapsed! Seriously, I should have worn a pedometer, because I walked for at least 4.5 hours. and climbed more than 400 stairs. So there was some time to rest my weary bod until I could no longer resist the call of the stores, which are dangerously close to the hotel. Unfortunately, I've discovered that shopping for maternity clothes is no nearly as fun as shopping for regular clothes. Despite the presence of Gap Maternity and a huge Old Navy flagship store, I probably only had a few dozen items to choose from. I managed a tank top and a t-shirt. Sigh!

Dinner was a big bowl of noodle soup at a vegan fast food restaurant in a fancy mall food court. I needed to eat it in order to create enough energy to walk back to the hotel!! But now there's been a bath and plenty of hanging out time while writing this post, so I'm starting to feel human again.

Tomorrow? I'm thinking Golden Gate Park...

San Francisco - Day Two

2010-06-27T22:22:00.014-04:00

Before I begin the photo essay of my awesome day, have a look at this amazing two-floor space for lease, which we can see from our hotel window:

Could it be any more awesome? The Husband and I have decided that we're going to move here and open a comic book/stationary/café/flower shop. It's really a genius idea and I don't think we can possibly fail, so we'll just throw all of our savings at that rather than buy a house in Toronto.

Anyway, on with my day! I hopped on my cheesy (read: awesome!) double-decker bus and snapped some cool shots. Here's the unique Transamerica Pyramid building. The beautiful building in the foreground is where Francis Ford Coppola's American Zoetrope postproduction facilities and his Café Zoetrope restaurant are located.

A little public art on a building at the edge of Chinatown:

Coit Tower. I am trying to decided whether I can haul my pregnant, hasn't-been-to-the-gym-because-I-was-sick-for-three-months butt up the Filbert Street Steps, which lead to the tower. I think my tour guide today said there are 481 steps. And then I suppose you have to climb the tower... But apparently the views are incredible AND the inside of the tower is filled with murals. Mmmmm...

Pretty church against the amazing blue skies we had today. (Hence my sunburn...)

Maybe this is where the Husband and I will live when our hybrid shop is spectacularly successful and creates a new shopping genre that mixes disparate elements together!

I hopped off the bus at Pier 39. Totally touristy, but I am totally a tourist.

I had forgotten that this was where the sea lions hang out, so when I rounded a corner and heard their strange honking voices, I may have gasped out loud with glee.

They are crazy cute and so fun to watch. I also discovered that Daphne is part sea lion! The way that she flattens herself out and slides down off the couch is EXACTLY how the sea lions slide off the piers into the water!!

Oh, sea lions spooning!

And look at this face! Could it be any sweeter?

View of the city from the pier:

What's that you say? A carousel!? Yes, please!

I, of course, chose to ride the sea lion after just swooning over them:

I did not deign to ride the dolphin! (What is a dolphin doing on a carousel, anyway!?)

The pride flag flying at the pier. This city, in case you missed the memo, is all about the gays!

Another view of the Pyramid building:

And speaking of the gays, I happened upon the Pride Parade by chance!

It was a HUGE parade with lots of people cheering and some serious public displays of nudity, both nice to look at and not so nice at all.

Then I reached The Embarcadero, which runs along the water:

And the Ferry Building:

I picked up some lunch in the Ferry Building at Il Cana Rosso (a great suggestion from a friend) and ate it while looking at this view:

Then I strolled through the building checking out the amazing little food and specialty shops. I avoided this one:

And I admired all the lovely little mosaics throughout:

Finally, I strolled along the water for a bit:

And then walked all the way along The Embarcadero to the spot where I could hop back on the bus, so it could take me back to the hotel. Phew! I'm exhausted after a full day and posting all of this! And not feeling so great. I suspect a touch of heat stroke or just some old-fashioned jet lag, since I was awake before 6 a.m. this morning. Either way, I'm going to cash it in soon, even though the Husband left before me this morning and is STILL WORKING! Poor guy. At least I'm appreciating the hotel room to its full advantage!

San Francisco - Day One

2010-06-27T12:22:00.011-04:00

I’m determined not to get behind on posting about my trip, so I’m composing this from the charming French bistro that is literally beside the hotel. Could anything be better for me? I adore a French bistro and can think of no better way to begin my first full day in San Francisco than with a pain au chocolate before I board a very touristy double-decker bus to give me the lay of the land.

After a long day of traveling yesterday, we arrived and I got my first glimpse of both water and amazing hills where the clouds sort of rest on the peaks. Then downtown with its gorgeous architecture and, finally, our funky hotel:

Hotel Triton, with the awesome French bistro next door.

A little fountain out front.

The rubber duckies are wearing rainbows, because it's Pride Weekend in San Francisco. Seriously! I am here during PRIDE! All my favourite gays will be so jealous.

Lobby shots:

Our room:

It's teeny, but it makes up for lack of space with TONS of personality.

We are right at the foot of Chinatown, which means there’s are lots of stores selling HUGE chandeliers and statues and tables entirely made of mother-of-pearl. I can’t really figure out who buys this stuff, although it does remind me of that Michael Jackson special from years ago where the reporter followed him around and he was buying crazy opulent things of this nature. Now that he’s gone, who else keeps these stores afloat? Perhaps Katy Perry. I could see her buying a fully carved four-posted bed with gold leaf that looks like it belongs in Versailles.

Anyway, after getting settled and exploring a few blocks, it was SO time for dinner. Between the time change and the awful airport food options, this pregnant lady needed a hot, yummy meal! I spied a little French place (I’m obsessed!) down an alley by the hotel and was immediately won over by the intimate little tables and candlelight. And luckily the Husband didn’t have to start work yet, so he and I got to have dinner together! This was very exciting, because I didn’t think I’d get to see him at all during this trip, except for when I roll over in the middle of the night and reach WAY across the king-sized bed to say hello.

So we had a delicious dinner where I was unable to resist the French Onion Soup (bad vegetarian!) and the bread basket (whipped butter!). The husband had a great chevre salad with pear and candied walnuts (goat cheese – I miss you! See you in about six months) and then we split an order of pomme frites and a little vegetarian lasagna. It was exactly what I needed, minus the glass of red wine that would have complemented it all so perfectly (wine – I miss you, too).

Cat's out of the bag!

2010-06-25T10:14:00.004-04:00

Okay, so the real reason that I haven't been blogging of late is because I've had a secret. And I suck at secrets! Even really happy secrets are hard for me not to talk about. So rather than blog about other stuff, when all I could really think about was my secret, I just avoided blogging altogether.

But you guys, I totally missed it!

The good news is that I am BACK! And the even better news is that I'm finally able to share my secret:

That's right! Baby on board! Bun in the oven! Barefoot and pregnant!

Pregnant. Wow. Weird. And awesome. But oh so much harder than I ever thought it would be.

I am a true optimist. (Although also a bit of a conspiracy theorist, which doesn't really compute.) My natural inclination is to assume that everything is going to be easy and run smoothly. But sometimes a healthy dose of pessimism would better prepare me for how things actually turn out.

Here's the thing: I know I didn't have it nearly as bad as lots and lots of women in my first trimester! One friend told me she was so sick and tired that she would crawl home from work, climb in bed and go right to sleep. At some point her husband would wake her up and feed her a bit of food and then she'd go right back to sleep until morning. Mine was not that bad!

But I did have lots of days where I was barely dragging myself around, with lots of fatigue and a whole digestive system that decided it wasn't going to work. There were evenings where I wished it was winter, so the sun would set early and I could justify going to bed before 7 p.m. Lots and lots of lying around feeling sick, unable to really do anything.

Yes, I'm complaining a bit, but that doesn't mean for a second that I'm not over-the-moon happy about my current state! I really, really, really am. It's just that the first trimester was very trying and I'm still coming out of that and into the light.

Another friend who recently had a baby said that she found the first trimester very isolating, because you're encouraged not to spread the word too much and you don't see any doctors. I am so glad she said this to me early on, because then I didn't feel alone in my isolation. I definitely had an incredible support system of both family and friends who knew what was going on, but the lack of medical intervention is sort of amazing. I mean, you're growing a human being, but after the initial trip to your regular doctor to confirm the pregnancy, you're left to your own devices to hope that everything inside is progressing as it should.

Then, about a week and a half ago, we finally had our first ultrasound. I was SO excited and then SO freaked out by the stony-faced technician. First she chastised me for not having a full bladder (How was I to know!?!) and then she was quiet for so long that I was sure something was wrong. Finally, the first thing she said was, "I only see one baby." And in my head I was all, "YOU SEE A BABY!!!"

In the end it was pretty amazing. The Husband watched the screen the whole time and he said he could see the baby wiggling around in there. And then I got to see the pictures, which was so cool. Because there are a lot of moments during the first trimester where you find yourself starting to question if it isn't all in your head. If there isn't actually a baby in there. But there is. Huzzah!

Anyway, I guess this blog will morph into a bit of a baby blog now. Consider yourself forewarned if that's not what you want to read! Although it will also be my San Francisco travel blog for the next week. The Husband has to work long days the whole time we're there, so I will roam the city with my trusty camera and share my explorations with all of you.

Oh! It feels so good to blog again. And to get the secret out!

I'll be back...

2010-06-24T10:14:00.001-04:00

I'm not gone for good. Promise! I'm coming back. Soon. Very soon.

Bringing the outdoors in

2010-04-21T20:38:00.002-04:00

Apparently I am not feeling very bloggy lately. What I am feeling, however, is full of the power of spring. The flowering trees around the city take my breath away, so when I took a time out at St. Lawrence Market today, I could not resist snapping up this bundle of blooms:

The photos don't really do the branches justice. Trust me when I say that they're fantastic! Also, I discovered that when you carry a big bundle like this home on the subway and through the streets, people will smile and talk to you. Kind of awesome.

Colourful kitchen accessories

2010-04-13T22:28:00.002-04:00

Can you believe all these adorable prints are on TEA TOWELS! If I had some extra money lying around (and didn't feel weird about ordering tea towels from the UK), I would stock up! See even more here.

My imperfect masterpiece

2010-04-09T22:11:00.002-04:00

I have been thoroughly remiss with my blogging. But sometimes my brain gets a little overwhelmed with life stuff. Nothing to be concerned about! Just those big life questions that make all of us feel a little more introverted than normal for awhile. This pic that I snapped of Schmaf a week ago sort of illustrates the feeling nicely:

Anyway, I have been meaning to post some pics of my final sewing project! I made this amazing denim skirt:

Look at that hem!

Okay, maybe the seams don't line up exactly...

And a zipper! (Disregard the fact that the top part of the zipper isn't fully tacked down. And that the waistband doesn't meet in the middle.)

In the end, I am extremely pleased with the final product. I would definitely wear this... if the gather didn't hit me at the widest part of my hips, adding an inch on either side and about 15 extra pounds.

Lesson to be learned: Choose your pattern carefully!!

Enough now, enough.

2010-03-30T21:00:00.003-04:00

Just over 11 months ago, during an amazing trip to New York, the DP and I got engaged. For the following five months I planned like mad and we had incredible parties thrown in our honour. And then there was the big day. And it was amazing.

And then...

Well, to be honest, I've had a hard time letting go of the whole wedding frame of mind. I still find myself perusing the wedding blogs and looking at dresses. (Confession! While my dress was lovely, I wish I'd spent a bit more and got one that I truly LOVED. Or maybe I'm just a bit sad that the wedding dress part of my life is done.)

But next week will mark five months married. There are framed photos, we've seen the DVD, have an album and have sent some pics to family members. It's time to move forward and enjoy just being married. Because it's awesome.

So, one last time:

Celebrate good times, come on!

2010-03-28T18:30:00.005-04:00

What a weekend! It was the kind of weekend that makes you tired just thinking about it, but totally pays off all the energy output with an influx of joy. That sort of a weekend. Here are some highlights:

Saturday afternoon we hosted a belated birthday party for one of my darling friends who was in from Montreal. This was just *some* of the food.

The excellent cake was made by another talented friend who also made my bridal shower cake, you may recall!

Here's a little shot of most of the revelers:

All but two of these lovely ladies are high school chums. There's something about connecting with people who knew you back when you still thought perms were all the rage that is just...good.

But the "Life of the Party" awards have to go to the little ones:

Want to entertain people at a party? Get the kids to lip-sync to Lady Gaga. Instant good time!

Speaking of entertainment, the evening shindig was an 80s-themed karaoke birthday party for another wonderful woman in my life. Many awesome musical moments from that decade were performed. Here's a shot of us in our throwback ensembles rockin' out to Whitney's "I Wanna Dance with Somebody."

And then this afternoon was a lovely baby shower for one of the newest girls in my world. There was plenty of delicious food and I managed to spill both ice water and boiling water, meaning that I shouldn't be allowed to attend fancy parties!

Here's the new mom, covered in ribbons from her gifts:

Doesn't she look amazing!? All the joy is masking the lack of sleep. Her little girl was sooooo good at the shower, sleeping like a little angel as she was passed from great aunt to great aunt, grandma to grandma.

That's it for me! Thanks goodness I found some lentil soup at the back of my freezer and that there are still LOTS of leftovers from the party, because I don't have enough energy to actually cook something. Monday morning will come far too soon...

Oh ya!

2010-03-23T22:18:00.000-04:00

I forgot that I wanted to show this to everyone:

Peace out!

The opposite of hiding away

2010-03-23T19:57:00.002-04:00

This morning I left the warm bonds of dream world and discovered a chilly apartment with no hot water. That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day.

I know that in the grand scheme of the world, my life is ridiculously easy and blessed. But something about starting the day sitting in two inches of tepid water (because I boiled a bunch and mixed it with the cold) trying to make myself presentable just did me in. So I considered canceling on my book club girls tonight, because all I wanted to do after work was go home and hide from the world.

But I didn't! I reminded myself both how much I enjoy our meetings AND how difficult it can be to sync our four schedules.

And you know what!? I felt SO much better after our dinner date and discussion. Thanks ladies!

Sandy, let me buy you a beer

2010-03-19T20:42:00.003-04:00

When it comes to celebrity's lives, I try to keep my nose out of things. I went through a few years of reading Us Weekly and PrezeHilton.com. I watched my fair share of "Entertainment Tonight" and those crap bio shows on E! I've been known to still indulge in tabloid mags and TV to get me through my workouts, but in general I steer clear. Mostly because I think the studios and the media make a ton of the shit up. Just like when the old studio system used to make actors "date." Partly because I think some of it is pretty disrespectful, like those poor tiny actresses who are subjected to bump watch after they have a big meal. And partly because I would rather spend my time and energy on my own life.

ANYWAY, all that said, I can't help but feel awful for poor Sandra Bullock. She won an Oscar a couple of weeks ago and gave a beautiful speech where she openly expressed what seemed like deep, sincere love for her husband Jesse James. In front of millions of TV viewers.

And now it comes out that the bastard was having an affair while she was away shooting the movie!

I wish I could give her a hug.

The genius of doing things differently

2010-03-18T21:33:00.003-04:00

So, once again I've been meditating on the Einstein quote: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

Every time I hear or read this quote I identify with it and tell myself that I have to take it to heart and live my life with this idea emblazoned in Technicolor across my psyche.

A moment later I forget my vow and just keep trucking along in the same groove as always, all the while wondering why the stuff that's not working in my life still isn't working.

Well, tonight I made some minor progress in that arena. I'm hoping it will lead to some bigger leaps forward.

You see, I was drawn to the mall today both by the spring preview Mother Nature is giving us and a 30% off coupon to Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy. (I had forgotten it was March Break until I arrived to find throngs of tweens and teens hopped up on food court fare lollygagging through the Eaton Centre in identical outfits. Oops.) I started off at BR and holed myself up in a fitting room with a pile of jeans and chinos, desperate to find some sort of covering for the bottom half of my body that fits both my generous posterior and my waist. It was, of course, an exercise in heartbreak.

I did, however, soothe my hurt feelings with a lovely cardigan:

The next stop was Jacob, where I tried on another armful of pants and had the exact same experience. Actually Jacob was even worse, because even though I was trying on the same size that I had tried on at BR, they didn't fit AT ALL. Vanity sizing sucks ass.

So as I was walking through the mall towards The Gap, I thought about how I've failed at buying pants of late. Part of my head argued that I was going to places where I had purchased the other pants that I have in my closet, so logic follows that these stores should carry stuff that works for me. The other part of my brain reminded me that none of those pants were recent buys, so perhaps I had to accept that the stores I would normally turn to no longer have my back(side).

This lead me to take a detour just before reaching The Gap, to a store that I would not normally go into. A store that sells all-purpose knives and camping lanterns, for the love of God! I went into Eddie Bauer. And while I still didn't have any luck with a pair of chinos, I did buy an awesome pair of Curvy Fit Boot cut jeans for $49.99! And they don't look like I should be wearing them in the wilderness!

Thus far, doing things differently turned out remarkably well. I guess I should really see about applying that to some other areas of my life.

Wherefore art though, fitness?

2010-03-17T19:31:00.002-04:00

Remember that whole February Fitness Challenge that I did last month? Well, I was hoping that working out every day would a) bring my fitness back up to a respectable level after a long holiday/honeymoon hiatus and b) inspire me to be active everyday by showing how easy it actually is to fit 30 minutes in.

I totally accomplished the first goal, only to have it undermined by the complete failure of the second goal.

Yes, I was feeling good and fit. My muscle definition in certain easy-to-tone areas gave me reason to admire myself in reflective surfaces. I could leap up a couple of flights of stairs with nary the chance of wheezing. And I had lots of energy while also sleeping like a baby at night.

However, I was so sick of working out. And then life, in all its complicated glory, got in the way.

I had long decided that I would not be working out on March 1st. I just needed a break! And then I had to start wearing my glasses on the Tuesday, in prep for my laser eye surgery on the Friday, and I could not conceive of exercising in my old glasses that didn't really care to stay on my face if I leaned forward at all. Then it was my surgery and I was told I had to take it really easy for a week. Then I went in for my check-up last Friday and the doctor said to still be really careful this week.

Basically, other than a few outdoor strolls, I have been to the gym ONCE this month. And during that single visit I walked on the treadmill. Sometimes with a bit of an incline. And then I went home. So all that muscle tone I had been admiring has gone the way of cupcakes and comfort food. (There were lasers in my eyes, people!)

So, time to get back to it. I'm planning to go at lunch tomorrow. Hold me to that, will ya!

Oh, as for those March goals I set...

Rejoining the world

2010-03-14T21:22:00.006-04:00

Well hello. Here I am, back from an unexpectedly extended break in blogging. Let me give you a quick rundown of the past week and a bit:

Eye Surgery: I do not know what the hell I was thinking going so blithely into elective surgery where they create a flap on the surface of my eye, flip it open and use lasers to fix my vision. I feel like one too many people told me how easy the surgery would be. Even one of the receptionists at the facility told me how squeamish she'd been about it before she'd finally had it done and that if she'd known how easy it would be, she'd have done it a lot sooner.

So I was not the least bit concerned going in that afternoon. I was anxious to take the sedative they were going to give me and then just lay back and let it all happen.

My in my naivete:

Friends, I could have used a stronger sedative.

The actual surgery, while not physically difficult, was highly stressful. They gave me two big stress balls, humourously designed to look like two veiny eyeballs, to squeeze and squeeze I did. It was pretty awful and I'm sort of glad that I didn't know it would be that bad. If I had, I'd still be wearing glasses.

But it was over in roughly 20 minutes or so and then the Husband whisked me home. I had to wear goggles all the way home and then to sleep for the next week, which was annoying and quite painful, since they pinched between my nose. The first couple of hours post-surgery were the worst. My eyes felt like they were full of sand and they were constantly streaming, which made my sinuses fill up, so I couldn't breathe. I was lying in bed, miserable, trying desperately to get to sleep and wondering what the hell I was thinking letting people near my eyes with lasers!?! (Oh, you can totally smell the burning during the surgery, too. Yuck.)

But once I had a whole bunch of sleep, I woke up to 20/20 vision. I was expecting a moment of revelation with a choir of angels singing in the background, but it's been a much quieter, slow appreciation of my newfound sight. The week was busy with making sure I was getting all my different eye drops, being careful in the shower and resting my eyes as much as possible, so I'm only now starting to have time to wonder at the marvel of modern medicine. It's damn cool!

All that optical healing seemed to tax my usually strong immune system and I started last week with a drippy, sneezy, runny head cold. Monday night I was in bed by 8:30pm and Tuesday I had to call in sick to work. By Friday I was finally starting to fee like myself again.

Sooooo... the March challenges kind of got lost in the hoopla. I've been eating lots of fruits and veggies, but I haven't written anything since my last blog post. Time to get back in the swing of things! But can I start tomorrow? This whole "spring forward" thing has totally thrown me off.

Day 3 - Update!

2010-03-04T22:42:00.003-05:00

If you are trying to write every day, but find that you sometimes lack inspiration, you should go to a book launch!

I had a fantastic time tonight and managed to write 525 words even though it's late and I am both tired and a little tipsy. Yay me!

Day 2 and sort of 3 - Why are baked goods so...good?

2010-03-04T17:15:00.003-05:00

Okay, quick post because I'm killing some time at work after everyone else has gone. I'm waiting for my lovely friend to come and meet me, so we can fete this author's new book! I am super excited to read Love Struck, particularly because the book I'm just finishing up for my book club is written by a man, about a man, and it's full of sort of gross man stuff.

I'm ready for a dose of girly good readin'!

(This cover totally says "girly good readin'" to me!)

And speaking of books... I managed to eke out my 500 words last night. It was a bit of a trial, because I currently have to wear my old glasses in preparation for my laser eye surgery tomorrow afternoon. However, my old glasses give me a headache and make my eyes hurt, so I was desperate to just turn off the light and close my eyes already! Alas, as soon as I reached my word count, I did just that.

Yes, I went to bed at 9:30 P.M.

I have not had a chance to do my words yet today... First I must go to the book launch and then I will have to hurry home to watch the Jammy Baby episode. And THEN I will get down to it. Promise.

As for tomorrow and possibly Saturday (and possibly Sunday...), my completion of the words will be dependent on my ability to see after they shoot lasers into my eyes. I'm supposed to have fighter pilot vision within hours of the surgery, but I'm also supposed to give my eyes lots of rest so that the flap that they LASERED OFF can heal. (I'm also not allowed to "squeeze blink." As soon as I read that, all I wanted to do was squeeze blink.)

Oh ya - my fruits and veggies!

I wish I could say that this was easy. I think I'm doing okay, but I haven't mastered the art of eating the fruits and veggies before the cookies and Timbits. Instead, I eat the baked goods and am full when I come across the fruits and veggies. So I shove them in, too, and then I'm very full. And uncomfortable. It's a process.

Day 1 - Slaying the demons

2010-03-02T21:44:00.004-05:00

When I came up with the idea for this challenge - the main writing challenge, I mean - I was very excited. I really like the project I'm working on and I was anxious to regularly devote some time to it, rather than just think about how I should be working on it.

And then today dawned. And all the expected feelings kicked in:

I was too tired. I was kind of burned out from work. "Lost" was on. I still need to cut out my skirt for sewing class. There was laundry to fold.

Besides, it's probably not such a great idea anyway.

GAH! Why do our brains get in our way so much?

I pushed away all the distractions and the negative Nelly thoughts and just sat down to write. The first five minutes did not go so well. The scene I was in middle of did not want to move forward, so I wisely abandoned it and jumped ahead. And before I knew it I'd written 551 words. Just like that.

This just proves that I picked the right challenge!

As for that other goal, I managed to ingest about 7 servings of fruit and veggies today:
- A banana
- An apple
- Tofu veggie curry (2 servings)
- Big salad with dinner (3 servings)

Tip: Chop up some purple cabbage to add colour and tons of vitamin C to your salad!

New challenge and new rule (because I can)

2010-03-01T21:14:00.003-05:00

This morning, as soon as I left our apartment building, I slipped on the ice and fell smack dab on my butt. (Luckily I fell on the left butt cheek, rather than my tailbone, so no major damage.) That spill set the tone for the day and things progressed thusly.

Translation: I had a crappy day.

Obviously, as I try to constantly remind myself, not as crappy as billions of other people in this cruel, cruel world. But, in the tiny world of little old me, crappy enough to warrant a trip to the liquor store at lunch to buy a bottle of wine to drink with dinner. (Bright side: I do get to drink this wine with my amazing Husband who I adore and who is appropriately sympathetic about my crappy day.)

Crappy enough that I decide to delay the start of my March challenge until tomorrow.

New rule: I get to have a day off between challenges!

However, I think I should announce the challenge. First, background: I have a writing project that I've been working on for a bit. I have times of great productivity on this project and other times where I just think about working on it. But recently I've decided to take a bit of a break from all my freelancing, so I can concentrate some creative energy on this project. Hence:

Every day in March (starting on the 2nd) I will write 500 words of my project.

(ummmm... but I'm going to use my computer...)

Also, as a small side challenge, I will endeavour to eat at least 8 servings of fruits and vegetables every day in March. (This one I actually managed to accomplish today!)

I haven't figured out what my reward will be at the end of it, but I'll let you know!

What about you? Any challenges you'd like to set for yourself in March?

Day 28 - Done, done, done!!!

2010-02-28T16:08:00.003-05:00

I was really planning to finish this challenge strong today. I was even considering hitting TWO classes in a row at the gym. But then the day dawned and with it came all the joy that womanhood brings.

Yep. Cramps.

There was no way I was going to wimp out now, but the though of going to lift some weights was so not appealing. (I'm a little behind on my strength training this week.) However, while I tried to determine how I was going to get these 30 minutes in, the sun decided to come out. And I, in turn, decided that 30 minutes of walking outside would be just the thing.

The idea got even better when the Husband decided to accompany me. It became awesome when I realized that it would take a half an hour to walk to Lululemon!! How perfect is that!? I finished the challenge AND got my prize. Here's a pictorial of our afternoon. (Pardon my non-cute eyewear. I have to wear my old glasses from now until my surgery on Friday. We also didn't really do our hair or make ourselves very presentable for the world. Lazy Sunday.)

I did it! It did, indeed, take exactly 30 minutes to walk up to the midtown Lulu. I was very excited and happy. (I was also quite sweaty while I was trying things on. Shhhhhhh.)

My final selections! Some new Groove crops and a Swift tank. I'm happy to hear that they're making more items with anti-stink stuff, because some of my old Lulu has the old stink baked in now.

Since we were in the neighbourhood, the Husband suggested a stop at the awesome Cupcake Shoppe.

It was his treat, so I chose a chocolate on chocolate one and a chocolate chip cookie dough one. We split them at home with a cup of tea this afternoon. Soooo fantastic.

Since it was long past lunchtime, we stopped at a neighbourhood Italian place where we split a baked goat cheese salad and some yummy pizza. Check out my cute lunch date:

February Fitness Challenge Wrap-up:

Cardio: 12 hours
Strength training: 4.5 hours
Yoga: 3.5 hours
Stretching/Abs: 40 minutes

TOTAL: 20 hours and 40 minutes
Average per day: 44 minutes

Not too shabby!! Clearly I need to up my strength training and stop ignoring my abs, but I am very happy overall.

Two new challenges start tomorrow. Tune in to find out what they are!

Day 26 and 27 - So close now...

2010-02-27T20:36:00.003-05:00

Phew! I have had a busy couple of days, running all over the city. But all of it good, fun stuff. Here's your recap:

After a bit of a luxurious sleep-in yesterday, I packed up all my stuff and hit the spa! I had every intention of doing a kick-ass workout for you guys before I started the relaxing part of the visit, but the lure of the jacuzzi and the tea lounge was so strong. So I eked out my half hour, with about 15 minutes of it spent on the treadmill walking/running, 10 minutes doing some weights and 5 minutes doing some ab work and some stretching.

Then I got down to the real reason I was there. It was pretty fantastic, I'm not going to lie! Although I'd forgotten how many really wealthy people go to this spa and how out of place that makes me feel. I tried to blend in, but then I managed to spill an entire mug of green tea on an upholstered chair in the lounge and squirt body lotion all over my robe... Oh well!

After FOUR lovely hours at the spa, I took myself to Fresh for lunch and then went to return something at Jacob. Only I ended up exchanging one thing for two things... Funny how that happens!

This morning was sewing class #4 and we made zippered bags:

Isn't it awesome!? Next week we actually start on our skirts. Although I won't be able to take the class until the following Tuesday night, since I'll still be recovering from having my eyes manipulated with a laser!

After class I rushed home and had a quick bowl of soup before meeting up with a lovely group of women and taking a road trip to Aurora to meet the newest member of our posse:

Just a week old, she was the perfect hostess, peacefully sleeping while we passed her around. She even yawned and made unbelievably cute little baby noises, which made all of us squeal with glee. Oh, and she gave us a peek at her dark grey eyes. Such a beauty!!

Once we made it back to the city, I went to get groceries because there was very little food left in our house. I finally arrived home at 6 P.M., exhausted. But I still had something to do...

Remind me why I started this crazy challenge again?

On top of being tired, it was raining. I did not want to go to the gym, but I knew I wasn't motivated enough to push myself at home. Plus I really wanted to finish the challenge strong! So I headed to the gym and managed to spend 60 whole minutes on the treadmill doing run/walk intervals with increasing inclines. It was tough, but I did it. And now there's only one more day...

Tomorrow I will announce my March challenges! (Yep, there's more than one!!)

Day 25 - Home stretch

2010-02-25T21:40:00.003-05:00

It was a busy day at work today, since we all had to pack up our desks in preparation for a whole office reorganization tomorrow. I also had a meeting right after lunch, so I couldn't linger at the gym.

Okay, I'm just making some excuses, because I did the bare minimum today: 30 minutes on the easy cross-trainer. I watched women's curling while I did it. That's not such an exciting sport.

Because of all the chaos at the office tomorrow, we get a day off! How awesome is that? And I know exactly how I'm going to spend it.

At the Stillwater Spa!

This is my favourite spa in town. The only other time I've been there, I managed to hang out for FIVE hours, enjoying all the amenities. Here's my plan for tomorrow:

- Workout in their gym (Last time I worked out there, Mr. Big came into the gym to look around!)
- Hit the steam room
- Hang out in the whirlpool
- Relax in my robe in their beautiful little lounge with the huge aquarium, cucumber water, biscotti and glossy mags
- Get a massage (Between my insurance coverage and a Valentine's gift certificate from the Husband, this won't cost me a cent)
- Have a luxurious shower (rain showerhead!)
- Hang out in a private television cabana watching... whatever I want!

It's going to be soooo good. Originally I had also booked a facial, thinking I could splurge a bit, but then I booked something for next Friday which will sort of empty my pockets.

I booked Lasik eye surgery!!

My sight will be restored, which will be crazy cool.

But back to tomorrow! After my relaxing afternoon, I might just nip over to Lululemon to look at my options for the end of my challenge. And there's a very good chance that I will treat myself to something Fresh...

Day 23 and 24 - Follow the leader

2010-02-24T21:18:00.003-05:00

Lacking my own motivation the last two days, I relied on others to tell me what to do. Which means that I took classes. An hour of yoga yesterday, which gave me a nice sense of calm in the middle of the day, and then an hour long Body Jam class tonight, which is a crazy fun dance class.

I headed to the gym tonight feeling kind of cranky and with a bit of a stress tummy from one of those days. (In the grand scheme of the world, it was actually a walk in the park day, but all the little things sort of added up and made me feel very off.) But then the class started. And, you know, it's hard to hold on to any sort of stress when you're making a fool of yourself, swinging your hips, attempting barrel jumps and waving your hands in the air like you just don't care.

(Um... I did NOT look this good.)

The finish line is now in sight! Four more days... In a mad surge of adrenaline and endorphins during tonight's class, I actually thought, "Maybe I should make this a year long challenge!" But I've come back down to earth now. Four more days. And then on to something new, with regular exercise a frequent, but less official, activity.

Day 22 - So close...

2010-02-22T21:09:00.002-05:00

Today I seriously contemplated not getting my 30 minutes. I didn't get up early and go this morning. Then I couldn't go at lunch, because I'd arrived at work late after an appointment, so I didn't take a break. And after work my tummy felt all twisty and there was actually a bit of a snowstorm happening, so I took myself right home.

Made dinner.
Ate dinner.
Ate frozen yogurt.
Watched some Olympics (curling is strange).
Ate the last of the tortilla chips.
Surfed the Internet.
Reread all my blog posts from this month.
Contemplated how I could atone for not exercising today.
Briefly imagined having to start whole challenge over again another month.
Laced up my running shoes.

There was no way I was going out into the winteriness (one of the good things about winter is NOT leaving your house unless you really need to) and the idea of some yoga wasn't really inspiring me. And then I figured it out! Here's how I filled 30 minutes tonight, from 8:33 p.m. to 9:03 p.m. (And not a minute more!)

Two laps up and down all 11 flights (actually, it's more like 22 flights, since they're broken in half) of stairs in my apartment building. Just like the stair climber, I kept things interesting by varying the pace (run one, walk one) and the approach, sometimes sidestepping and sometimes taking two stairs at a time.
Three circuits of the following without stopping: 20 crunches on the stability ball, 20 butt lifts, 10 push-ups, 40 leg lifts on each leg, 20 squats, 10 lunges with a knee up on each leg, 10 tricep dips off a chair.
And to finish it all off, a few minutes of stretching.

TAH DAH!

Also, who is the cutest?

Day 20 and 21 - Mixing things up and taking it outside!

2010-02-21T16:51:00.004-05:00

I knew this weekend was not going to be very social, because I'm going for a laser eye surgery consult tomorrow, which means I had to wear my glasses all weekend in preparation for the exam. My glasses are neither cute nor the right prescription, so in addition to being stylishly challenged by wearing them, they also give me headaches and make me feel disconnected from the world. Blech!

I still managed to have a great weekend, though! It started with sewing class. (Don't tell, but I totally put my contact lenses in for about three hours on Saturday morning, because I am very vain.) We made adorable drawstring bags! Here's photographic evidence of my accomplishment:

Pretty! (I picked the fun fabric out myself. The balloons should be vertical, but because we made it on the fold, they're horizontal. I'm okay with that, because at least I know what "on the fold" means now.)

A close up of my fantastic sewing skills.

The final result being used for an actual purpose! What could it be?

Eh, voila! A darling wine bag that any hostess would be happy to receive! (But maybe I'm biased...)

After class I hit the gym and divvied up my cardio into 10 minutes chunks, to combat gym-fatigue: 10 minutes running on the treadmill, 10 minutes on the stair climber and 10 on the hard cross-trainer. Done and done! I hightailed it out of there without any real stretching or ab work, I confess. (I am SO lazy with my abs. Mostly because I know that cut-off tops of any sort are no longer ahead of me in life. However, I find that a lot of standing or walking makes my lower back really tired and achy and I'm sure it has something to do with my mushy abs. Sigh!)

Much of my afternoon and early evening was spent having a rockin' house party for two with me and my BF's youngest child. He's a total character and we had fun watching part of a movie, dancing and drawing. Favourite quote of the day came after I suggested he draw a dog: "I am an artist, but I do NOT draw hard things!"

Here he is finally managing to play with my cranky cat a little. Daphne usually hisses at him, but this time she actually batted around the ribbon a bit. An Olympic effort for this feline!

This morning, with the weather report promising 5 degrees of sunniness, the Husband and I bundled up and set out on one of our favourite big walks, first through the enormous cemetery across the street from us and then along a ravine. It was our Olympic walk and we were in motion for about an hour and 40 minutes! So I more than filled my movement quota AND got a much-needed day away from the gym. Yippee! Also, even though our shoes were caked in mud by the end, it was a beautiful walk.

Days 18 and 19 - Are we done yet?

2010-02-19T21:00:00.003-05:00

LESS THAN TEN DAYS TO GO!!

Friends, I am SO ready for a day off. I cannot even tell you! I logged a half hour on the easy cross-trainer yesterday before stretching for five minutes and then did a half hour gravity class today. My muscles are sore, particularly because I was lazy about stretching on Wednesday. But I'm hanging on!

I'm also thinking about setting some sort of daily goal for March... As challenging as this month has been, it's also helped me get back on track at the gym (I noticed that my arms looked kind of ripped during the class today) and has given me a sense of accomplishment.

March's goal will not be active! Not that I'm giving up the gym, I'm just going to go on lunch dates again rather than workout out every day at noon. I have an idea about what it's going to be.

Hey, do any of you want to set a goal for March? If so, let me know! You can share your progress in my comments section. We'll cheer each other on!!

OKay, another funny Old Spice commercial. I cannot get enough of these!

Day 17 - Extra, extra!

2010-02-17T18:19:00.005-05:00

One of the biggest foes of regular exercise is boredom. Either the exerciser gets tired of the same old routine or the muscles get way too used to what they're asked to do. I have a secret weapon to combat this!

In my stylish Lululemon bag I have a stash of workouts ripped from the pages of the million magazines that I subscribe to. When I need some inspiration, I pull out a workout and follow it! That's what I did today and let me tell you - it kicked my ass! It was 45 minutes of weights interspersed with cardio intervals. I was huffing and puffing! Then I could barely drag myself back to my desk and feed myself some lunch.

And since I had to get off the subway early to run an errand after work, I walked the extra 40 minutes home. (I had something spinning in my brain, so I knew that tiring my body out would stop my brain from spinning. It seems to have worked!)

Therefore, I'm counting it as 85 minutes today! Woo hoo!!

Oh, and this made me laugh out loud:

Day 16 - Stretching it out

2010-02-16T20:16:00.002-05:00

Oh, this morning was so incredibly February! Do you know what I mean? I actually feared that a bout of seasonal affective was on its way in. I just felt blah and sluggish, despite a sound 8-hours of sleep. And I had trouble focusing my brain at work, which led me to have two morning cups of tea, which isn't normal for me.

So ask me how excited I was to go to the gym?

The worst part about the blah, seasonal affective feeling is the total and complete lack of energy. Like, the very thought of changing my clothes to work out seems incomprehensible. (This must be what people who suffer from serious depression feel like all the time. My hats off to all of you who have survived this dark place.) So I decided that a yoga class was the best thing for me. I'd skipped my stretching all weekend long, so I knew my body could use a bit of lengthening.

Of COURSE I felt much better afterwards. And I sailed through the afternoon and into this evening, where I came home and made yet another new recipe (Bulgarian Lentil and Vegetable Stew from my Moosewood Cooking for Health book - YUMMY and so colourful) and then some more carrot muffins and cleaned the whole kitchen. The Husband is now boiling up a big batch of steel cut oats to carry us through breakfasts for the next week. So I'm feeling healthy and happy and glad that I gave myself this crazy challenge this month. I haven't coped this well with February in years.

Mmmmm... perhaps I need a March challenge?

(We did this in class today. HARD!)

Day 14 and 15 - Love and the bare minimum

2010-02-15T17:57:00.002-05:00

The Husband was out of town, only just expected home late yesterday morning, so I knew I wanted to get my workout out of the way first thing. And that's why I was one of the first people at the gym when it opened at 9 A.M. I wasn't inspired to really push any limits, so I just hopped on a cross-trainer and did my 30 minutes all in one go and then got the hell out of there, without even stretching or anything. I even used the easy cross-trainer.

(There are cross-trainers that just sort of go around and don't require much effort and then there are ones where your legs come up in front of you at a right angle that are MUCH harder. I usually use the harder ones, but not yesterday.)

And today, after spending all morning in bed with the Husband, reading and eating breakfast (and Valentine's chocolate and cookies...) and watching funny videos on his laptop, we finally dragged ourselves out and made it to the gym. But once again, I just couldn't bring myself to push myself. Still, I did 20 minutes on the hard cross-trainer and 10 minutes on the stair-climber. I definitely worked harder than yesterday, but didn't go above and beyond. AND I skipped stretching (and abs) AGAIN! Still, I did it.

And then, after some leftover Indian food from last night (super delicious!), we got sucked into a marathon of Last Cake Standing. We were supposed to be cleaning the apartment, but the cakes were so crazy! And then we had more cookies and Valentine's chocolate. And suddenly all the sugar in my system combined to feel like sand in my veins and I could hardly conceive of MOVING!

All this to tell you that it wasn't our most productive afternoon, but the Husband did do a FANTASTIC job cleaning the bathroom and I tried to undo our day of bad eating by making a healthy new recipe - One-pot sweet-potato couscous. DEE-LICIOUS! Hopefully the actual nutrients in my system might propel me to be do something useful this evening.

Day 12 and 13 - I am (reluctantly) rocking this challenge!

2010-02-13T21:10:00.002-05:00

I'll admit that I may have whined a bit about having to go to the gym yesterday. First to some colleagues and then to some random woman in the change room. My instinct was actually to get down on the floor like a disgruntled toddler, stamp my feet, bang my fists and shout, "I don't wanna!"

Of course, since I am sensible grown woman (and have self-inflicted this ridiculous challenge), I just complained. And since I also knew that I couldn't be left to my own devices, due to a serious lack of motivation, I hauled my ass (which, by the way, isn't getting any smaller during this crazy stint, because I am eating like a Canadian who needs an extra layer of warmth to get through winter*) to a one-hour Body Pump class.

In case you're not familiar with said class, it's endurance weight training. So each song targets a different muscle group and you just work the shit out of that muscle group until you want to cry. And then you move on to the next muscle group. It's actually an amazing workout and I was super proud of myself for showing up and putting in the effort.

Today, after I mastered some new stitches (and making gathers!) in my sewing class, I spent some cardio time at the gym while watching the ski jumping trials. You know what? Ski jumping looks kind of easy to me. Which, of course, means that it's really, really hard. Because generally all those things in life that look easy are impossible. (I've just talking myself out of learning to ski jump.) Anyway, I ran some intervals for 10 minutes and then did 25 more minutes of intervals on the stair-climber, before stretching and doing some abs for about 5 more minutes.

And, since the Husband is out of town until tomorrow morning, I spent my afternoon familiarizing myself with the mysterious world that is Fabricland, while buying a pattern and some fabric and notions. Then I hit a matinee of "Precious," which pretty much broke my heart.

Tonight, mending my sad heart with some puttering and prep for my first Valentine's Day as a married lady! Looking forward to having the Husband back home. (I'm going to try to sneak to the gym first thing, before he arrives.)

*Yes, I do realized that our winter has been crazy easy. There's hardly even a trace of snow on the ground and the "storm" we were supposed to get last week never materialized. But still I am putting treats in my mouth at every turn. Maye a treat hiatus should be next month's challenge?

Day 11 - Thank goodness for celebrity tabloids

2010-02-11T20:31:00.002-05:00

I know this is going to come as a shock to all of you, but I... didn't want to go today! Seriously. Apparently I never desire better health and a smaller behind enough to actually want to work out. Sort of depressing, no?

But of course I went. And it was cardio day, so I grabbed some old issues of People from the pile at the gym and hopped on a stationary bike.

(I have a ridiculous amount of magazine subscriptions, because it's my business and I LOVE them, but I don't subscribe to or generally read entertainment tabloids. It's all lies. I believe nothing. However, I will happily flip through them at the supermarket or while trying to get my cardio done.)

I've often read that stationary bikes aren't really your best choice for cardio, because you're just sitting down rather than moving your whole body like you do running or stair climbing. So when I was setting up my program on the bike, I chose to workout at level 12, which is smack dab in the middle of the levels. Often I will choose level 8. Level 8 seems to be my default setting. But I thought I would get more out of it at level 12.

Friends, I was huffing and sweating and struggling through the hills! (I also set it to random. I avoid long, steady-state workouts most of the time. Better results with intervals!) All I could think was, "What the hell is level 24 like!?" Thank goodness I had faux celebrity gossip to get me through.

So: 30 minutes of cycling and 10 minutes on the cross-trainer.

(This is where I wish I'd been biking!)

Day 10 - Stronger...and yet weaker

2010-02-10T21:22:00.003-05:00

I woke up feeling like myself again this morning. Thank goodness! Although I also started the day with a serious case of the yawns and a nagging sense of weariness. Perhaps it was the emergence of actual winter, what with the light dusting of snow settling over the city. It didn't help that our offices are currently under construction, meaning that many of us have been moved to temporary desks scattered throughout our beautiful two-story, glass-ceilinged atrium. There isn't much lighting in the atrium, so when it's gloomy outside, it's gloomy in there. Thankfully my deskmate helped me hook up a lamp, so I could see. My mood was also helped along by the illumination.

But, and I'll be honest with you here, I didn't want to go to the gym! You're probably not surprised by that statement, but I kind of am. This little challenge is really highlighting how often my good intentions are derailed by powerful negative thoughts. Hardly a day has passed that I haven't had to force myself to get up and go. But you know what? I haven't regretted going even once! Go figure.

Anyway, I knew that a class was the best option for me today, since my own motivation was somewhat lacking. I chose to do some strength training at a gravity class.

A what? you say!

It's this super cool thing that they have at my gym. It was actually one of the selling points of me for this particular location. (Also, it's two minutes from work.) They are machines with pulleys and stuff that allow you to work out against your own body weight. And you can adjust the angle of the machine, to either work out harder or easier. Let me find a picture...

See?

The classes are just a half hour, which really flies by, and the workout is hard. I still remember the first time I tried it and during the first 2 minutes of squats I thought to myself, "Oh, I am way beyond this. I'm not going to get enough of a workout." And then I remember how my muscles were burning and I was gasping for breath about a minute later. Truly.

So this was it today. I jogged for a few minutes prior to the class, but skipped any post class cardio. Weary won out. (Although, I had WAY more energy in the afternoon!)

Day 9 - Near derailment

2010-02-09T19:41:00.002-05:00

So, remember yesterday's post? Where I said I was going to get up super early and hit the gym before work? Well, that dream died late last night as I lay awake in bed for way too long. There comes a point when I'm going to get so few hours of sleep that it's just not worth it to get up early.

This morning I hopped out of bed, had a shower, took two bites of oatmeal... and threw up. (I know I'm a newlywed, but I promise you that I'm not pregnant!) I promptly sent an email to work and crawled back into bed.

My biggest worry was stomach flu, particularly since a lot of people around me have been hit of late. But it seems to have just been something I ate. We were short on spaghetti sauce last night ad so we added some salsa that was in the fridge. Neither of us could identify how old it was, but it smelled okay...

Anyway, I got some rest and by this afternoon I seemed to be mostly okay. I ate some toast without any problem. So then I started to worry about the FFC. I knew that there was NO way I could drag myself to the gym, but I didn't want to miss a day.

And then I had a brilliant idea: YOGA! I have a dvd here, which has an easy workout on it that's just 35 minutes long. I took it really easy, but it felt good to stretch and move a bit after a day of napping and cocooning.

Hopefully tomorrow will dawn with a better tummy and some renewed energy, because I have A LOT to catch up on at work and there's still 18 days of this challenge to go!